(You wouldn’t believe how long it took to come up with reasonably fitting / punny title for this one. It’s admittedly about eight separate thoughts, but they’re related in my mind.)
Came across this one on Secrets of the City a while back: In Which I Lose my Navel Ring and My Dignity on a Boogie Board by Melinda Jacobs.
Read it through. See if you think this would be a reasonably fitting alternate title: “On realizing I could no longer hold on to superficial displays of youth to maintain my self-worth and social status, I found that I could always fall back on superficial displays of inherited wealth to impress others”.
In case you’re not from the Twin Cities, Lake Minnetonka is where the rich people live. Not just the semi-well off – the filthy stinking rich. (Or the massively, massively in debt I suppose.) There are boat houses there notably larger than the house I grew up in. The kind of shameless displays of useless wealth that actually make me physically nauseous.
Really? You need 74 rooms and 19 bathroom for you, your spouse, and your 2 kids? Do you all really all hate each other that much, and all have that severe of bowel problems? Really?
At first I wasn’t sure if the above piece was written straight, or if it was sarcastic and mocking. So, I did a quick search on the author, and the first thing I found was her adhering her lips to Joan River’s gross plastic ass:
Go buy yourself some self-worth! It’s only $39.95!
Okay, I’ll give that 3:00 is pretty funny.
The other bit that was supposed to go in here was a link to a list of Minneapolis/St Paul Barbies playing off of stereotypes of people by where they live in the Twin Cities, mainly because the first one ties to the above (Minnetonka Barbie). However, the “original” post (I put original in quotes because it was on tumblr, and therefore probably stolen in the first place) isn’t there any more. On searching, I found there are a few versions of it floating around out there. This one is fairly complete, and with most of the pictures. This one fills in quite a few others. The two overlap a bit, but fairly entertaining either way.
And while we’re on the random, for some reason this song kept running through my head while I was writing this:
lifestyles of the rich and famous
And, while we’re on shuffle mode here, both the “Really?” from this post, the one on CNN earlier, and any other time I throw it in….