Aug
31
2011

Parker goes to the Uptown Art Fair – Part 2

Last we saw Parker, he was roaming the Uptown Art Fair looking for a snack, and had been directed towards Calhoun Square by a friendly stranger.  More of the Dino Saga here.


“Let’s see, he said thee was food down this way…”

"This must be what he was talking about! An apple store. Not a lot of variety, but I suppose an apple does sound delicious on a hot day like this."

“Uh, Parker, I don’t think it’s that kind of an apple store, I think they actually sell…”

"Oh course it is! See, they even have a water bowl to cleanse your palette before going in. That's how you know it's a nice fruit stand."

"NOM! See this one is delicious! Though the color does seem a little off. Maybe it's out of season."

McParker the crime dino takes a bite out of apple. (Or something like that)

"Look Kearn, they even have computers you can play with while you digest!"

"And they have games on them!"

“Come on Parker, let’s get you some real food.”

"But.., but, my ball balancing circus seal is almost leveled up to 60!"

“Come on Parker, let’s at least play with some of the other toys.  Here, why don’t you try out an iPod.”

"The sign says it's a Nano, but the headphones are Mega!"

“We could get you one of these for your birthday Parker.  Would you like that?”

“I don’t know, I still really like my Walkman.”

“Your Walkman?!?!  You really are a dinosaur Parker!  These are way better than that!”

“Okay, what do they do?”

“Well, you can listen to music on them.  The newest models even have an fm radio built right into them.”

“Does it let you record music?”

“Well, no.”

“Does it have replaceable batteries?”

“Um, no, I guess not.”

“Can you use it to make mix tapes to give to your friends?”

“Well, not really.  I guess you could hook it to your computer and make a play list in iTunes.  But, the other person would need to download the songs too before they could play it, and, well…”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to my Walkman.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll have to think of something else for your birthday.  Let’s go get you some food.”

“Look – deep fried cheese curds, and it’s not even the state fair yet!”

"Mmmm, Bucket o' Cheese..." *drool*

*NOM*

“Let’s see if we can find you something a little more healthy.  Here, try some corn.”

"But it always gets stuck in my teeth. What about some Chinese food?"

"Now THAT'S a dino sized meal!" *nom nom nom nom nom*

“Wow, I’m stuffed now.  I think it’s time for some more art.”

“Okay, let’s check out some t-shirt.  These ones by Batik by Kat are nice!”

"I like the color of the froggy, and the dog looks fun, but I'm not sure if they're quite me."

“Hello there, little one.  I’m Kat, can I help you find anything?”

“You’re Kat?  Somehow I was expecting more whiskers and fur, and maybe a tail…,  you look much more like a friendly person than a Kat.”

“Ah yes, that confuses many of the little dinosaurs that stop by our booth.  I am, in fact, a person.”

“I see, well, I like these ones, but I don’t think they’re quite me…”

“Oh, I think we have a design you might like better.  Here, try this one.”

"IT'S PERFECT!!!"

“Can we get it Kearn? Can we pleeeaaasssseeee?!?!”

“I don’t know Parker, it looks a little big for you.  Excuse me Kat, do you make this in an extra, extra, extra, extra dino small?”

“Oh, sorry, we only go down to an extra, extra dino small.  And it looks like your little friend would take some growing to fit into one of those.  But here, take our card and you can get one from our website when he gets bigger.”

“Thank you.  Parker, I may have a birthday present idea for you after all, just maybe not for this year.”

“I like that idea.  Let’s see who else we can meet while we’re here.”

Next we wandered past Wild Cat Works‘ bird houses.

"Hellooooooo up there..."

But it turned out no birds had moved into the shiny new bird penthouses yet, so we kept moving.

"There must be all sorts of things to buy down here..."

“Parker, I think I see a place you may like.”

"It's like this whole place was made for dinosaurs! Too bad I filled up on that Chinese food. A Gyro sounds tasty!"

Next we walked past the myTalk 107.1 booth, and Parker took an interest in a sign they had our in front.

"Look Kearn! I don't know what a myTalk is, but these people need help. And help making art no less. I bet I could do that!"

"I bet you could. Here, I put some letters and decorations for you on the T, let's see if you can make something out of that."

"Look Kearn! I made my name. Now we just need to glue it down... Um, could you help with that part? I don't have any thumbs, and I don't want to accidentally glue my feet to the poster."

"Sure Parker. And you can add some stickers to make it even prettier."

"Hooray! I'll be famous now!"

"Do you think anyone will notice it in all of this?" "I think so Parker, it's a very nice flower after all."

Next we stopped by a booth where you could get your picture taken in front of a green screen, and have the background replaced with anywhere in the world.  Parker was going to play a trick on everyone and get one with the Roman Coliseum in the background and tell everyone he went to Rome over the weekend.  Unfortunately, the computer had a hard time telling the difference between Parker and the background.  So, he’ll have to find another trick to play.

We kept walking, and before long we pasted in front of James Sauer’s sculptures, and…

"AAAAHHHHHHH GIANT BIRDIE GONNA EAT ME RUNAWAY!!!!!!!" *run run run run*

They may have been a little too realistic for Parker’s taste.

Luckily, once Parker finally slowed down, we weren’t far from Keith Kinney’s booth, where Parker found a place to rest for a bit.

(I couldn’t find a business card at Keith’s booth, and from searching, the only website I found for him (http://www.stylesofoakheritage.net/) seems to be down / missing, but it was Keith Kinney of Yellow Springs, OH, in case you like the rockers.)

"Look, there's even space for my tail to go through between the slats. What a comfy chair!"

“Kearn, all that running from the eagle made me awfully tired, and we’ve been walking a lot today.  Can we head home and take a break before going to the Powederhorn Art Fair?”

“Sure Parker, let’s get you some rest and some air conditioning.”

On the way out, we walked past the RuTu Paddle Company, which has some really pretty stuff, but Parker was too tired to pose any more.

However, just past there, we came across the strangest thing, and had to pause for one last picture…

"Wait, why is a boat bike locked to a pipe, 4 blocks from the nearest water? There's not even any trailer or wheels to be able to move it. What's going on here?"

“I don’t know Parker, sometimes Uptown just doesn’t make sense.”

Comments (2) | Tags: , , , , , | Written by on Aug 31,2011 |
Aug
24
2011

Parker goes to the Uptown Art Fair – Part 1

Last we saw our dino heroes, Parker was wrapping up an Orange Bowl victory in Miami, while Sinclair was still trying to figure out where Minne the Lake Creature had gone to.  Since then, I’ve found out that for dinosaurs to live to 65 million years old, they have to hibernate for a while every now and then.  It’s a rather sporadic schedule, but if that’s what it takes to live to 65 million years old and still keep your youthful vigor, I guess you can’t complain.

Parker has woken up from his hibernation with a lot of energy and ready to go, while Sinclair has still been a bit groggy lately.  Parker has also decided to have the tattoos on his back removed, so people don’t keep confusing him with his beloved brother, who he got them in honor of.  If that none of that makes any sense, you can catch up by reading the existing posts in the Dino Saga series.


“Good morning Parker, what are you up to?”

"I was just reading your blog post about the art fairs this weekend. They sound fun! Can we go?"

“Sure Parker. Are you planning to buy some art while we’re there?”

“Maybe, what does it take to buy art?”

“Just some money.”

“Oh, let me go grab mine!  I’ve been saving up!”

"Let's see, I've got one dollar, forty-two cents, a button, a broken zipper, five bits of string, and a Jack of Spades. Is that enough for an art?"

“Um, I don’t think so Parker.  Most places don’t take bits of string as a form of payment.  But we can still go look.”

“Okay.  Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

And out the door we went.

"Wow, it looks like there's a ton of art here. Let's get going."

"I'd hate to meet the painter that goes with those, I'm small enough compared to normal sized people!"

“You know Parker, we’re going to be doing a lot of walking today.  I know you have the energy for it, but do you think you feet will be able to hold up?”

“Hmm, you’re right, they might get sore.”

Luckily, the first place in the Uptown Art Fair is the Uptown Running Room.

So, we stopped by their sidewalk sale to see if the friendly people there could help us out.

"Hi there. I would like a pair of art fair walking shoes, please."

"We don't usually stock dinosaur shoes. Hmmm, this is the smallest pair we have for your foot type. Give them a try."

"They seem a little roomy in the toe, but let me take them for a jog to see how they feel."

"Nope, definitely too big."

“Okay, we could always order something in your size, but for today maybe Kearn can just carry you when your feet get tired.”

“Yeah, I could do that.  Thanks for trying Running Room people!”

Parker was getting anxious, “Okay, now let’s go see some art!”  So, our first stop was Daryl Harwood and Kevin Murphy‘s booth.

They make Ikebana flower bases, which have little spiked clusters in them you can put the flowers on so they’ll stand up straight, and have water.

"And we actually make them using leaves from our garden for the shape of each piece."

"They look good enough to eat!"

"Come on Parker, we should go before you chip a tooth, or slip onto one of those little spikes."

Next, we stopped by the music stage Old Chicago had set up, which seemed strangely empty.

"I was born for the stage..."

"AND THAT BIRD YOU CAN NOT CHAAAAAAANNNGE, AND THAT... um, Kearn, could you move the mic down a little bit, I'm getting a lot of feedback here."

After Parker’s set, and three encores, we continued on, and found a Volvo dealership had set up shop at the art fair.

"That's right ladies, I'm not only beautiful, but apparently I'm safe too."

“Hey Parker, how do you think the ladies would like you in this old car?”

"Hmm, it's okay, but I was thinking maybe a convertible..."

"Now that's more like it. Bugs in my teeth, the wind on my tail, and the open road ahead."

“Hmm, but Parker, can you reach the pedals?”

"Umm, not really..."

"And more importantly, I can't reach the radio. I guess this isn't the car for me after all."

“Well, let’s see what else they have.”

"Kearn, look! This one has a big screen TV in the trunk! Oh, wait. That doesn't make any sense at all."

“Parker, could you come over here and jump up real high?  I want to get your picture with the Uptown Theatre sign!”

"WEEeeeeeeeee!!!"

“Kearn, all this jumping is making me hungry.  Can we go back and eat those flower stands we saw earlier?”

“No Parker, I don’t think the artists would like that very much.  But, we can see if we can find you some real food.”

“Here, let’s ask this guy if he know where we could find some food around here.”

"Excuse me Mr Chino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Um, I guess I'm not familiar with dinosaur dietary needs, but you might want to check with my friend Latino."

"Excuse me Mr Latino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Why yes! If you head over towards Calhoun Square, you should find all manner of confections!" "Thanks Mr Latino!"

"Boy, I hope confections means food. There's Calhoun Square! Let's go!"

To be continued…

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , , , , | Written by on Aug 24,2011 |
Aug
18
2011

Iowa State Fair – Health Food Edition

Last weekend I went to the Iowa State Fair with family.  Before going, we had heard the newest deep fried food on a stick for this year is butter.  Yes, deep fried butter, on a stick.  So, of course, we had to try it.  There was a bit of a line waiting for it, since everyone else had heard about it as well, so we had some time to decide what else we might like with it.  When we got to the front of the line, our order was as follows:

  • One deep fried butter on a stick
  • One deep fried pineapple on a stick
  • Two deep fried Milky Ways on a stick (sticks)
  • And a large DIET Pepsi

My sister insists the beverage choice was because the diet version of Pepsi tastes better, rather than any calorie savings.  Regardless, this lead to teasing for the rest of the day.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , | Written by on Aug 18,2011 |
Aug
09
2011

Jesus is watching you

My dad forwarded me this email (no idea where it came from originally), made me laugh, so I thought I’d pass it on:

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flash light around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flash light off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flash light beam came to rest on a parrot.

“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.

“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?”

“Moses,” replied the bird.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , , | Written by on Aug 09,2011 |
Aug
05
2011

Art fair weekend in Minneapolis

As a reminder, it’s Art Fair weekend in Minneapolis, with art fairs in Uptown, Powderhorn, and Loring Park happening all weekend.

I wrote up a review / guide of each two years ago, and from my experience last year, it holds up pretty well.  The one change I’ve heard for this year is that they’ve done away with the Art Hop, which I think is kind of a bummer.  They’re instead replacing it with free passes on the normal city bus routes (details here).  I’m guessing this is going to confuse the bejebus out of most people, and most people won’t think/know to print the passes ahead of time.  Plus, there doesn’t seem to be a straight route from Powderhorn to Loring Park or vice versa without going through Uptown.  So I’m predicting more traffic and more of a pain parking this year.  But aside from that, it should be a nice weekend for it, and it’s always fun to go wander through all the art.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , | Written by on Aug 05,2011 |
Aug
03
2011

How footballs are made

Via Kottke, and Craftzine.

Interesting to see how they’re made.  Makes the laces make a lot more sense, though it does seem to dismiss the idea of pigskins.  Apparently, according to Wikipedia, footballs were never actually made of pigskin, but early on where covered with pig’s bladders, and even further back, were actually just inflated pig bladders, though never actually pig skin.

It is worth noting that he says they make all the NFL game balls there, but not that they make all Wilson footballs there, or even all NFL branded Wilson footballs.  I actually just recently bought a Wilson football, which says “NFL” in gold embossing on the side, which also says “Made in China” in much smaller print on the bottom.

On one hand, it’s easy to get all nationalistic about work being shipped overseas (there’s more than a couple youtube comments rejoicing in the fact that something is still made in the USA).  On the other hand, I know that at least I personally can’t even imagine working the same job, repeating the same 5 second action cycle over and over and over and over… for 40+ years.

And, for that matter, watching it, I can’t help but think, “I bet I could come up with an algorithm to fit more cuts on the same piece of leather, and get more sections out of a single hide”, or, “I bet a machine could make that part way more consistent”.  Which, I’m guessing is why my Wilson football was made in China.

Also, 30 days until Hawkeye Football.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , | Written by on Aug 03,2011 |

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