“Hey Parker, ready to go again?”

“I think so.”

“It’s getting pretty late, so we probably won’t make the Loring Park Art Fair, and might have to make a quick trip though Powderhorn.”

“That’s okay Kearn.  I’d rather be well rested and enjoy what we see.”

“Okay, let’s go hop in the car.”

After a brief drive across town, we hopped out, and…

"There it is Kearn, let's go!"

"Look, they even have my sized steps!"

"Sure are a lot of them though."

5 minutes later... "Come on Parker, I want to get your picture by the sign."

"CHEESE."

"Enough photo ops Kearn, let's go see the art fair!"

"Look Kearn, the sign says there are geese in this park. If we see any, we should ask them if they know where Minne is."

“That’s a good idea Parker.”

So, after much ado, we finally made it over our first booth of the Powderhorn Art Fair – Dan Parker’s Parker Project (no website to link to):

"It's like he knew I was coming. Not only did he make a sign for me, he made me a bunch of little friends too!"

"Look, this friend even comes with a snack!"

"And this one's all ready for Halloween. I bet Minne would like him."

"Hmmm, still no geese out on the lake. But a nice view of the park. Let's see what's over here."

Next we walked by Jon Offutt’s House of Mulciber booth.

“Oh Parker, you have to take a look at Jon’s work!  It’s really beautiful.  I’ve seen it at some past art fairs.  Just look at these ones up on the top shelf!”

“But I can’t see Kearn, I’m too short!”

At that Jon came over.  “Hi there little guy, just hop right on up there so you can see better.  Here, I’ll give you a hand.”

"Thanks Jon! That's much better!"

"Wow, these really are nice. I've never seen a glass vase that looks like a landscape before. It looks good enough to eat."

“Parker, I’ve already told you, you can’t eat the art.  Now come on, I think I hear some music you might like.”

“Okay.  Thanks again for the lift Jon!  Hmm, I do kind of like that sound.  Where’s it coming from?”

"Here it is. These guys are way too good to not have a crowd. Let's get some people and have a party!"

"Now that's more like it!"

“Kearn, I’m getting thirsty.  Could we go get a drink?”

“Sure Parker, it looks like that next booth, Ascension Art Glass, has a water bowl out front.  Maybe you could ask the pretty girls working there if you could have a drink.”

“Excuse me miss, could I have a drink from you water bowl?”

“Why yes, of course!  That’s what it’s there for!”

"Thank you!" *lap lap lap lap sluuuuuuurrrppp*

“Come on in and take a look around.  Hop on up, I bet you’d look great in yellow.”

"Kearn, I'm sitting in art, hehehehe"

“Here, take a look at some of our other tables too.  Hop right on over!”

"I feel like I could fit in pretty well here."

But, just as we had started talking with the super nice people at Ascension Art Glass…

"AHHH, Surprise Raptor Attack - RUN AWAY

Parker got spooked and ran off again.  (Raptor courtesy of Kay Schneider of Iowa City, IA (no website). )

By time I caught up to him, he had wandered into a strange land.

"Where... where am I?"

It turns out he was in Steve Brewster’s Moon Bay Artglass Studio (no website) of Poteau, OK.

"What a strange, beautiful land. But, Kearn, it looks like they're starting to pack up."

“It sure does Parker.  I think that may be all the art we’ll see today.”

“Okay, but we still have to go check if there are any geese to talk to before we go.  Come on!”

“Slow down Parker!”

"Come on Kearn, I see some ducks and geese landing now."

*run run run run*

*run run run run*

"Excuse me," *pant, pant*, "excuse me, Mr. Goose!"

"Yes?", "Mr Goose, have you seen Minne the Lake Creature anywhere around here lately?"

"Indeed I have my good sir. I saw her just this morning, down this way, at Lake Hiawatha. If you seek her, then that is where you must go.", "Thanks Mr Goose!"

“Come on Kearn, we’ve got to get home and tell Sinclair we know where Minnie is!”

To be continued… (though probably not for a couple of weeks).

“Let’s see, he said thee was food down this way…”

"This must be what he was talking about! An apple store. Not a lot of variety, but I suppose an apple does sound delicious on a hot day like this."

“Uh, Parker, I don’t think it’s that kind of an apple store, I think they actually sell…”

"Oh course it is! See, they even have a water bowl to cleanse your palette before going in. That's how you know it's a nice fruit stand."

"NOM! See this one is delicious! Though the color does seem a little off. Maybe it's out of season."

McParker the crime dino takes a bite out of apple. (Or something like that)

"Look Kearn, they even have computers you can play with while you digest!"

"And they have games on them!"

“Come on Parker, let’s get you some real food.”

"But.., but, my ball balancing circus seal is almost leveled up to 60!"

“Come on Parker, let’s at least play with some of the other toys.  Here, why don’t you try out an iPod.”

"The sign says it's a Nano, but the headphones are Mega!"

“We could get you one of these for your birthday Parker.  Would you like that?”

“I don’t know, I still really like my Walkman.”

“Your Walkman?!?!  You really are a dinosaur Parker!  These are way better than that!”

“Okay, what do they do?”

“Well, you can listen to music on them.  The newest models even have an fm radio built right into them.”

“Does it let you record music?”

“Well, no.”

“Does it have replaceable batteries?”

“Um, no, I guess not.”

“Can you use it to make mix tapes to give to your friends?”

“Well, not really.  I guess you could hook it to your computer and make a play list in iTunes.  But, the other person would need to download the songs too before they could play it, and, well…”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to my Walkman.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll have to think of something else for your birthday.  Let’s go get you some food.”

“Look – deep fried cheese curds, and it’s not even the state fair yet!”

"Mmmm, Bucket o' Cheese..." *drool*

*NOM*

“Let’s see if we can find you something a little more healthy.  Here, try some corn.”

"But it always gets stuck in my teeth. What about some Chinese food?"

"Now THAT'S a dino sized meal!" *nom nom nom nom nom*

“Wow, I’m stuffed now.  I think it’s time for some more art.”

“Okay, let’s check out some t-shirt.  These ones by Batik by Kat are nice!”

"I like the color of the froggy, and the dog looks fun, but I'm not sure if they're quite me."

“Hello there, little one.  I’m Kat, can I help you find anything?”

“You’re Kat?  Somehow I was expecting more whiskers and fur, and maybe a tail…,  you look much more like a friendly person than a Kat.”

“Ah yes, that confuses many of the little dinosaurs that stop by our booth.  I am, in fact, a person.”

“I see, well, I like these ones, but I don’t think they’re quite me…”

“Oh, I think we have a design you might like better.  Here, try this one.”

"IT'S PERFECT!!!"

“Can we get it Kearn? Can we pleeeaaasssseeee?!?!”

“I don’t know Parker, it looks a little big for you.  Excuse me Kat, do you make this in an extra, extra, extra, extra dino small?”

“Oh, sorry, we only go down to an extra, extra dino small.  And it looks like your little friend would take some growing to fit into one of those.  But here, take our card and you can get one from our website when he gets bigger.”

“Thank you.  Parker, I may have a birthday present idea for you after all, just maybe not for this year.”

“I like that idea.  Let’s see who else we can meet while we’re here.”

Next we wandered past Wild Cat Works‘ bird houses.

"Hellooooooo up there..."

But it turned out no birds had moved into the shiny new bird penthouses yet, so we kept moving.

"There must be all sorts of things to buy down here..."

“Parker, I think I see a place you may like.”

"It's like this whole place was made for dinosaurs! Too bad I filled up on that Chinese food. A Gyro sounds tasty!"

Next we walked past the myTalk 107.1 booth, and Parker took an interest in a sign they had our in front.

"Look Kearn! I don't know what a myTalk is, but these people need help. And help making art no less. I bet I could do that!"

"I bet you could. Here, I put some letters and decorations for you on the T, let's see if you can make something out of that."

"Look Kearn! I made my name. Now we just need to glue it down... Um, could you help with that part? I don't have any thumbs, and I don't want to accidentally glue my feet to the poster."

"Sure Parker. And you can add some stickers to make it even prettier."

"Hooray! I'll be famous now!"

"Do you think anyone will notice it in all of this?" "I think so Parker, it's a very nice flower after all."

Next we stopped by a booth where you could get your picture taken in front of a green screen, and have the background replaced with anywhere in the world.  Parker was going to play a trick on everyone and get one with the Roman Coliseum in the background and tell everyone he went to Rome over the weekend.  Unfortunately, the computer had a hard time telling the difference between Parker and the background.  So, he’ll have to find another trick to play.

We kept walking, and before long we pasted in front of James Sauer’s sculptures, and…

"AAAAHHHHHHH GIANT BIRDIE GONNA EAT ME RUNAWAY!!!!!!!" *run run run run*

They may have been a little too realistic for Parker’s taste.

Luckily, once Parker finally slowed down, we weren’t far from Keith Kinney’s booth, where Parker found a place to rest for a bit.

(I couldn’t find a business card at Keith’s booth, and from searching, the only website I found for him (http://www.stylesofoakheritage.net/) seems to be down / missing, but it was Keith Kinney of Yellow Springs, OH, in case you like the rockers.)

"Look, there's even space for my tail to go through between the slats. What a comfy chair!"

“Kearn, all that running from the eagle made me awfully tired, and we’ve been walking a lot today.  Can we head home and take a break before going to the Powederhorn Art Fair?”

“Sure Parker, let’s get you some rest and some air conditioning.”

On the way out, we walked past the RuTu Paddle Company, which has some really pretty stuff, but Parker was too tired to pose any more.

However, just past there, we came across the strangest thing, and had to pause for one last picture…

"Wait, why is a boat bike locked to a pipe, 4 blocks from the nearest water? There's not even any trailer or wheels to be able to move it. What's going on here?"

“I don’t know Parker, sometimes Uptown just doesn’t make sense.”

Parker has woken up from his hibernation with a lot of energy and ready to go, while Sinclair has still been a bit groggy lately.  Parker has also decided to have the tattoos on his back removed, so people don’t keep confusing him with his beloved brother, who he got them in honor of.  If that none of that makes any sense, you can catch up by reading the existing posts in the Dino Saga series.

“Good morning Parker, what are you up to?”

"I was just reading your blog post about the art fairs this weekend. They sound fun! Can we go?"

“Sure Parker. Are you planning to buy some art while we’re there?”

“Maybe, what does it take to buy art?”

“Just some money.”

“Oh, let me go grab mine!  I’ve been saving up!”

"Let's see, I've got one dollar, forty-two cents, a button, a broken zipper, five bits of string, and a Jack of Spades. Is that enough for an art?"

“Um, I don’t think so Parker.  Most places don’t take bits of string as a form of payment.  But we can still go look.”

“Okay.  Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

And out the door we went.

"Wow, it looks like there's a ton of art here. Let's get going."

"I'd hate to meet the painter that goes with those, I'm small enough compared to normal sized people!"

“You know Parker, we’re going to be doing a lot of walking today.  I know you have the energy for it, but do you think you feet will be able to hold up?”

“Hmm, you’re right, they might get sore.”

Luckily, the first place in the Uptown Art Fair is the Uptown Running Room.

So, we stopped by their sidewalk sale to see if the friendly people there could help us out.

"Hi there. I would like a pair of art fair walking shoes, please."

"We don't usually stock dinosaur shoes. Hmmm, this is the smallest pair we have for your foot type. Give them a try."

"They seem a little roomy in the toe, but let me take them for a jog to see how they feel."

"Nope, definitely too big."

“Okay, we could always order something in your size, but for today maybe Kearn can just carry you when your feet get tired.”

“Yeah, I could do that.  Thanks for trying Running Room people!”

Parker was getting anxious, “Okay, now let’s go see some art!”  So, our first stop was Daryl Harwood and Kevin Murphy‘s booth.

They make Ikebana flower bases, which have little spiked clusters in them you can put the flowers on so they’ll stand up straight, and have water.

"And we actually make them using leaves from our garden for the shape of each piece."

"They look good enough to eat!"

"Come on Parker, we should go before you chip a tooth, or slip onto one of those little spikes."

Next, we stopped by the music stage Old Chicago had set up, which seemed strangely empty.

"I was born for the stage..."

"AND THAT BIRD YOU CAN NOT CHAAAAAAANNNGE, AND THAT... um, Kearn, could you move the mic down a little bit, I'm getting a lot of feedback here."

After Parker’s set, and three encores, we continued on, and found a Volvo dealership had set up shop at the art fair.

"That's right ladies, I'm not only beautiful, but apparently I'm safe too."

“Hey Parker, how do you think the ladies would like you in this old car?”

"Hmm, it's okay, but I was thinking maybe a convertible..."

"Now that's more like it. Bugs in my teeth, the wind on my tail, and the open road ahead."

“Hmm, but Parker, can you reach the pedals?”

"Umm, not really..."

"And more importantly, I can't reach the radio. I guess this isn't the car for me after all."

“Well, let’s see what else they have.”

"Kearn, look! This one has a big screen TV in the trunk! Oh, wait. That doesn't make any sense at all."

“Parker, could you come over here and jump up real high?  I want to get your picture with the Uptown Theatre sign!”

"WEEeeeeeeeee!!!"

“Kearn, all this jumping is making me hungry.  Can we go back and eat those flower stands we saw earlier?”

“No Parker, I don’t think the artists would like that very much.  But, we can see if we can find you some real food.”

“Here, let’s ask this guy if he know where we could find some food around here.”

"Excuse me Mr Chino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Um, I guess I'm not familiar with dinosaur dietary needs, but you might want to check with my friend Latino."

"Excuse me Mr Latino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Why yes! If you head over towards Calhoun Square, you should find all manner of confections!" "Thanks Mr Latino!"

"Boy, I hope confections means food. There's Calhoun Square! Let's go!"

To be continued…

I wrote up a review / guide of each two years ago, and from my experience last year, it holds up pretty well.  The one change I’ve heard for this year is that they’ve done away with the Art Hop, which I think is kind of a bummer.  They’re instead replacing it with free passes on the normal city bus routes (details here).  I’m guessing this is going to confuse the bejebus out of most people, and most people won’t think/know to print the passes ahead of time.  Plus, there doesn’t seem to be a straight route from Powderhorn to Loring Park or vice versa without going through Uptown.  So I’m predicting more traffic and more of a pain parking this year.  But aside from that, it should be a nice weekend for it, and it’s always fun to go wander through all the art.

Due to the number of teams, they break up the screening into groups.  We’re in Group D, which shows Wednesday, June 15th, 9:00 – 11:00pm at the Riverview Theater. Admission is $10, and you get to see about 10-15 movies made as part of this chaos.  If you have a large amount of faith in us, there’s a best of show a week later on the 23rd. I’ve seen our film and I think it’s pretty good, but having not seen others from this year, I have no idea where we’ll fall in the pack, or, for that matter, what categories / criteria they use to pick the best of, so, you may want to come to the premier screening just in case. Besides, the best of is $15, and you’ll have no idea what people are talking about for the week in between when everyone is saying how awesome ours is.

This is particularly interesting because I’ve found the one major weather difference between Iowa and Minnesota is how much the snow pack melts during the winter.  In Iowa (at least the parts I lived in) it melts several times throughout the winter.  Maybe not completely, but enough to get down to just a few inches of snow on the ground, and melt everything off the side walks.  In Minneapolis, it’s just those 5 or 10 degrees colder that it takes to keep it almost completely frozen all winter.  Snow we got at the start of December is just melting for the first time now.  The side walks are visible for the first time since Christmas.  The snow and ice here just piles, and piles, and piles up all winter, and then melts all at once over the course of a week or two.

In doing so, it reveals everything that’s been tossed along the side of the roads and side walks all winter too.  So far this year, just in the past few days, I’ve seen the following melting their way out of the snow banks:

• More beer cans and bottles than I could count
• A baby stroller
• A variety of clothes
• A plastic banana
• A complete toilet, intact
• Several feet of rope
• A complete car bumper
• A couch
• A diaper (used)
• A large headboard
• Rear view mirrors
• A tire, with rim, still fully inflated- not a spare tire, but a normal full sized tire
• Shoes, both men’s and women’s
• Various parts of bikes
• A large (carnival sized) stuffed dog
• A broken cell phone
• A dog collar
• And much, much more generic garbage

Note that each and every one of these was not just something that was on top of a snow bank, or tossed on top lately, but every single one of them was buried in the snow to the point that you couldn’t see them at all a few days ago, and still had some snow of it covering part of it when I saw it.  Yes, even the couch, car bumper, tire – all of it.  I’ve walked past many of these over the past several weeks and months and had no idea they were there.

A lot of these are a little fascinating just for how they got there.  Who tossed a used diaper in a snow bank?  How has a whole couch been hiding under a snow bank all winter.  Who lost a shoe when there was already snow on the ground, but apparently continued without it?  Where did the clothes (underwear included, though never a whole outfit in one pile or in a trail, usually just one piece in a place) come from?

Each of these is interesting, and the randomness is sort of amazing, and I’m sure I’ll see more in the coming days are we get rid of the last of snow we have now (I’m sure we’ll still get more – I don’t trust we’re done with snow here until it hits 90 the first time).

So, my idea for this one is I think someone should gather up all of the stuff that has melted out of the snow along one street, or in more dense neighborhoods even a single block, and make sculptures out of it.

It would be interesting to see what you could structurally assemble out of all of it, and to see what different types of stuff you find in each neighborhood.  It seems like there’s lots of modern art that is made out of found objects and discarded items, but I think this would have a sort of cool local flair to it.  Especially if you played up the hidden vs seen, and clean and pure snow vs what it’s hiding aspects.

You could also just gather up everything from one block, and instead of making a structure or sculpture out of it, just lay it out in a compulsively neat grid of items, to contrast with the random, strewn about nature of where you found it.

Of course, you would definitely want to wear some thick gloves for this one.  And you might pass up the diaper.

No idea how the music on it is, but with a cover like that, it can't be all bad

As best I can tell, the cover was made by local graphic designer Miss Amy Jo.  The rest of her work seems to be somewhat sousaphone deprived, but I’ll take what I can get.

Think about honking

if you [heart] conceptual art

I think in terms of flair which defines my neighborhood (Uptown), that may well take the top spot.  It knocks off the previous favorite, which I saw briefly after moving here, which was on an old VW bus and said something to the effect of:

Zero to sixty

in about twelve and a half minutes