Feb
04
2010

Scruffleupagus

What you have 3 days after you shave a Snuffleupagus.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , | Written by Kearn on Feb 04,2010 |
Jan
26
2010

Parker in Miami – Part 1 – The Beach

If you haven’t read them before, the previous episodes of the dino saga will help make this make slightly more sense.  Not lots of sense, just more than it would otherwise.

In this episode / series, Parker goes to the Orange Bowl in Miami to see the Hawkeyes play.  My going along is part of why there was that couple week long lull of no posting – planning the trip, going down, being there a few days, coming back, getting my feet back on the ground, not to mention Christmas, New Years, some things shifting at work, and just generally having needed a bit of a break.  At any rate, I’m back now.

Also, I’m breaking this episode into 3 parts (this is the first, as the title would indicate) because:

  1. There are lots of pictures.
  2. There are basically 3 distinct stories.
  3. These posts take for freaking ever to make, so I want to stretch it out a little bit and make the effort for each a little more manageable.

The third segment is a little short for reasons I’ll explain in that post, so that one’s more like half a post compared to the other two.  As a bonus though, there will also be one non-Parker, non-dino post of Miami stuff after the third as well.  So, really, it like 2 and 2 half post about Miami.  So, anyway, let’s get started, shall we…


As it turns out, Nessie has an in with the BCS people and helped them decide that Iowa should go to the Orange Bowl in Miami so she could see Parker, instead of sending Iowa to the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently Nessie doesn’t do well in the desert, being a lake creature and all, and it turns out that Plesiosaurs have a surprisingly large say in the BCS selection process.  Who knew?

So, when we heard that Iowa was headed to Miami, Parker decided that we needed to go.  Sinclair stayed behind to hibernate.  Because dinosaurs hibernate, I guess.  That or he’s just lazy and still moping about not being able to find Minne.  Who knows?  He has his moments of being a rather surly fellow, but I think mostly it’s just the cold and dark weather getting to him, cold blooded and all.

So, Parker and I got our tickets and flew down to Miami a couple of days before the game.  The TSA is surprisingly permissive with dinosaurs.  Apparently they’re a well connected bunch.  Anyway, as soon as we got to the Miami airport, we decided we should go find the hotel, settle in a little bit, and then go see what South Beach has to offer.  Without thinking, I had let Parker do some of the planning, like the car…

Parker roll in style.

Also, it turns out Parker packs like a Druish Princess.

"Ah, I see my bags have arrived. Are you sure we packed my industrial strength hair dryer? Because I can't live with out it."

And he fit in pretty well in the hotel lobby while they were taking the bags up, too.

The dinosaur matches the pillows!

Once we got up to our room, Parker decided to check out the view.

"I can see the ocean! We should go see if we can find Nessie!!!"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!!!"

As you can see, I pack slightly lighter than Parker, but I still had room for swim trunks and sandals, so, we headed to the beach, at top dinosaur speed, to see if we could find Nessie.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!" (Parker does his best Pamela Anderson running on the beach impression.)

"Excuse me Mr Seagull, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster anywhere around here lately?"

"Sorry bud, I don't really fly out to sea any more. I just hang out on the beach and eat trash from all the tourists. You might try asking at the lifeguard station though." "Okay, thanks!"

"Excuse me Mr Lifeguard, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster around here lately?"

"Yeah, I see her now and then. She's been hanging out down here for the last couple of months on vacation. Let me take a look through my trusty rusty telescope to see if she's around."

"I think I see her out there, a little ways off to the right of that ship. I'll signal to her for you."

The lifeguard flashed a mirror a few times in Morse code to signal to Nessie for us.

"Thanks Mr Lifeguard!"

"Hiiii Paaarrkkeerrr!!!! Sorry I can't swim in any further, I'm too big and I'd get stuck!"

"That's okay, I'll swim out to you."

"Whoa, that wave caught me off guard."

"I'll get a running start this time, and time it so I don't hit a wave."

"AAAAHHHHHH, I timed it wrong!!!"

"Cowabunga!!!"

"Owwwww."

"Even the foam's bigger than me!"

"Run away!!"

"You kids are crazy, the wave out there have to be ten, no, twenty feet tall!!"

"Sorry Nessie, the waves are too big for me! I can't make it out to you."

"That's okay Parker. Have fun on the beach!! There's lots to do there for someone your size. And send me a post card when you get back to Minneapolis."

After we sat on the beach chairs for a while and tried to talk with Nessie as best we could from that distance, Parker got a little restless and wanted to play.

"I'm gonna make a sand castle!!"

Two hours later…

"All done! Isn't it awesome!?!"

“Hmmm, Parker, would you like to play on a little bigger sand castle?  I think I see one over there you might like, and it doesn’t look like anyone else is playing on it right now.”

“Sure, where?”

“Right over there…”

“Wow!!!” … running….

"This. Is. Awesome."

"There she blows! - there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill!"

“Oh, you know what else we should do? …”

"I love the beach."

"I'm awful dirty after getting buried in the sand. I could sure use a shower."

"Ahhhh!!! Can't you see I'm naked!!!!"

"Get out, get out, GET OUT!!! Can't a guy get a little privacy?!?!"

Parker was a little miffed at me after that, so I put the camera away for a while.


As a side note, how often do you see a post with references to Space Balls, Moby Dick, Baywatch, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Monty Python, and an obscure Sesame Street record all in the same place?

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , , , , | Written by Kearn on Jan 26,2010 |
Jan
21
2010

Legos

Pleasantly trippy, though simple, Lego illusion.

Cute and clever diorama and detail (via The Brothers Brick).

Using Legos to mend walls.

Lego candles.

An absolutely enormous / insane (read: awesome) Lego aircraft carrier.

Nathan Sawaya makes all sorts of amazing Lego sculptures / art (found via Makezine).

A great/bad pun in Lego:

Attack of the Second Amendment from Jesus Diaz on Vimeo. Via Gizmodo.

On the slightly more serious side, here’s a really interesting story from The New York Times about Lego as a company and the changes they’ve made and where they’re heading (via Kottke).  As much as I fully realize that things like that have to happen to keep the company afloat, it kind of makes me sick too.  I’ve bought Legos for birthdays and Christmas in recent years and each time it seems like they get more and more expensive, with almost no really little sets, and they’re so specialized that it’s hard to build much out of them aside from what’s on the front of the box.

I remember quite fondly Lego sets I had when I was little (okay, I still have some of them) that came with multiple sets of instructions for things to make out of them, and also had things pictured on the box that you could make which there weren’t instructions for, just to get the creative juices flowing a little more.

I sort of credit the old Lego sets with a lot of the way I look at thing (perhaps I had this view before I got Legos, and they just happened to fit in well, who knows).  Mostly, putting pieces together, taking things apart and rebuilding them, just seeing how things work, and being willing to mess with them a little.  I often explain my interest in computer programming in these terms – programming is Legos for adults.  (Legos are Legos for adults too, but we’re going for a metaphor here people.)  In programming, especially object oriented programming, you have all these different pieces you have to fit together and line up just right, and when you do, you have built a new toy to play with from the parts you had.  And you can combine them in all sorts of ways, and swap out pieces here and there, and build whole new things no one else has thought of yet.  And when you’re done, you can reuse it all and not have a mess.  And the building that happens is a mix of building with your hands, and planning it out in your head as you go, and adjusting as you run into problems.  In an overblown metaphoracal sense, Legos are life.

So, in closing, here’s a great, very simple Lego ad campaign (via Swiss Miss) that’s the way I like to remember them.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Written by Kearn on Jan 21,2010 |
Jan
01
2010

This Year

I’ve decided that posting this around New Year’s is now a tradition as well:

Also, you know what I’m looking forward to about the New Year’s Eve celebrations next year?  Seeing how they’re going to make those stupid plastic eye glasses where the frames are in the shape of the year out of a 2011.  Maybe everyone will have to ring in the New Year with only one eye open and the whole celebration all around the world will be pirate themed.  Happy New Yarrrrrr!

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , , | Written by Kearn on Jan 01,2010 |
Nov
25
2009

The Salivation Army

The end result of Pavlov’s diabolical plan to make everyone drool while Christmas shopping.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , | Written by Kearn on Nov 25,2009 |
Oct
23
2009

Free Idea Friday 2 – The Drag Race

Organize a 5k race.  (Or whatever distance, but preferably something short.)  Have the proceeds from the entry fees / sponsorships benefit a local GLBT advocacy group.  Encourage cross dressing and flamboyant clothing.  Name the event “The Drag Race”.

You could probably even set it up as part of Pride weekend, especially since they tend to close some streets for that anyway for parades.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , | Written by Kearn on Oct 23,2009 |
Oct
19
2009

3 ring assault

Ever wonder what it would be like if the military started a circus?

A desert camouflage big top.

Navy seals balancing colorful balls on their noses and playing horns.

Perhaps a tiny clown car tank, which seemingly endlessly fires colorful mimes from it’s main gun.

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , | Written by Kearn on Oct 19,2009 |
Sep
30
2009

The news business – a new hope

It was announced on Monday that the Star Tribune, one of the Twin Cities two major newspapers, has finally emerged from Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  Not a whole lot of news there, they’ve been struggling for a while, had lots of layoffs, and as long as I’ve lived here there’s been speculation about their impending doom (you know, being a newspaper and all).  Especially with competition from bloggers, who can publish stories immediately and who can update their stories to be absolutely current as new facts come to light, where as, due to the printing and distribution process of newspapers, everything in newspapers is necessarily from the previous day.  Perhaps the traditional news industry could compete better if they just rebranded themselves as the recents.  The Star Tribune, one of our two major recentpapers.  That sounds about right.

But one of the things that has always struck me as a little odd since moving to the Twin Cities is that we have two major recentpapers here, the Star Tribune and the Pioneer Press.  It would seem that with the challenges that are facing the dead tree edition of the news, that it would make sense to combine these papers – half the writers / double the potential circulation for each.  It would seem like the smart business move.  I’m sure there are tons of reasons this hasn’t happened, and admittedly I’ve never really cared enough about ink on pulp action to really investigate why this is, but it does set my mind wondering, to the really important question facing the recents industry…

What would they name it if they combined the two?

Now obviously, they couldn’t just keep one name and let the other one die.  Too many hurt feelings that way, wasted name recognition, and it doesn’t really signal the new start they need.

No, they need a whole new identity, something that would really give them a presence that people would take note of.

The Star Press?

The Pioneer Tribune?

No, neither seems quite right, still pretty bland.  Maybe we could combine the names more…

The Stress?

No, though not bad.

The Piobune?

No, sounds like a new medication or a medical condition.

What about….

I’ve got it!!

The Pie-Star

The Pie-Star

Now that would put those pesky bloggers on notice.

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , , , | Written by Kearn on Sep 30,2009 |
Aug
25
2009

More LOLs

funny pictures of cats with captions
Via I can has cheezburger

funny pictures of cats with captions
Via I can has cheezburger

funny pictures of cats with captions
Via I can has cheezburger

I especially love that last one.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , | Written by Kearn on Aug 25,2009 |
Jul
13
2009

Pretty pictures I found – 6

Comments (0) | Tags: , | Written by Kearn on Jul 13,2009 |
May
10
2009

Kindle DX

Amazon recently announced the release of the Kindle DX, an updated, larger Kindle.  If you’re unfamiliar, the Kindle an e-reader.  Basically a special purpose laptop optimized for reading books – sharp but grey scale screen to make it easier on the eyes, light weight, long battery life.  The original can be found here, and the DX can be found here.  E-book fans have been quite excited about the larger screen of the DX, but a little leary of the high price.  A little bit about it’s release here, here, and more extensively here.  What does a Kindle DX look like you may ask.  I envision something like this:

kindle-dx-1

Or this:

kindle-dx-2

Strayhawkeye.com, your number one source for e-reader / Pro-Wrestling cross-over photoshop puns.  (Explained here.)

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , | Written by Kearn on May 10,2009 |
Apr
06
2009

T-Shirts that made me laugh

I was looking around shirt on Snorg Tees and came across a few that made me laugh a lot.  Click the images for where you can get the shirts if you like:

tshirt-rawr

tshirt-commies

tshirt-alcohol

tshirt-bach

tshirt-theeggdid

tshirt-chemists

tshirt-zuesstrikesagain

Tons more on their homepage.  Lots of them are a bit more pop culture references.

I also like the gender classifications on their site, and the icon they use for your cart.

(Note that this is not me asking for these in any way, shape, or form.  I have way, way more t-shirts than I need already.  Just pointing out good comedy on the web.)

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , | Written by Kearn on Apr 06,2009 |
Apr
03
2009

I love visual puns

mobilehomes

Mobile Homes

Via Swiss Miss

Comments (0) | Tags: , , | Written by Kearn on Apr 03,2009 |
Dec
08
2008

Who can’t fail?

So lately we’ve been told over and over who can’t fail.  The banks can’t fail, or it would destroy the world economy and we’d all go back to living in caves or something.  The auto makers can’t fail, because, well, the auto execs said so.  But you know who has been ignored in all of this?  Rudie.  That’s who.  Rudie can’t fail.

If only The Clash were still around today to present their case to Congress,  they’d make a couple billion off of that song, no problem.

Via: My own random sense of humor.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , | Written by Kearn on Dec 08,2008 |

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