Bottle from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Even more impressive if you notice that it was made almost all by one person.

Via Swiss Miss.

In this episode / series, Parker goes to the Orange Bowl in Miami to see the Hawkeyes play.  My going along is part of why there was that couple week long lull of no posting – planning the trip, going down, being there a few days, coming back, getting my feet back on the ground, not to mention Christmas, New Years, some things shifting at work, and just generally having needed a bit of a break.  At any rate, I’m back now.

Also, I’m breaking this episode into 3 parts (this is the first, as the title would indicate) because:

1. There are lots of pictures.
2. There are basically 3 distinct stories.
3. These posts take for freaking ever to make, so I want to stretch it out a little bit and make the effort for each a little more manageable.

The third segment is a little short for reasons I’ll explain in that post, so that one’s more like half a post compared to the other two.  As a bonus though, there will also be one non-Parker, non-dino post of Miami stuff after the third as well.  So, really, it like 2 and 2 half post about Miami.  So, anyway, let’s get started, shall we…

As it turns out, Nessie has an in with the BCS people and helped them decide that Iowa should go to the Orange Bowl in Miami so she could see Parker, instead of sending Iowa to the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently Nessie doesn’t do well in the desert, being a lake creature and all, and it turns out that Plesiosaurs have a surprisingly large say in the BCS selection process.  Who knew?

So, when we heard that Iowa was headed to Miami, Parker decided that we needed to go.  Sinclair stayed behind to hibernate.  Because dinosaurs hibernate, I guess.  That or he’s just lazy and still moping about not being able to find Minne.  Who knows?  He has his moments of being a rather surly fellow, but I think mostly it’s just the cold and dark weather getting to him, cold blooded and all.

So, Parker and I got our tickets and flew down to Miami a couple of days before the game.  The TSA is surprisingly permissive with dinosaurs.  Apparently they’re a well connected bunch.  Anyway, as soon as we got to the Miami airport, we decided we should go find the hotel, settle in a little bit, and then go see what South Beach has to offer.  Without thinking, I had let Parker do some of the planning, like the car…

Parker rolls in style.

Also, it turns out Parker packs like a Druish Princess.

"Ah, I see my bags have arrived. Are you sure we packed my industrial strength hair dryer? Because I can't live with out it."

And he fit in pretty well in the hotel lobby while they were taking the bags up, too.

The dinosaur matches the pillows!

Once we got up to our room, Parker decided to check out the view.

"I can see the ocean! We should go see if we can find Nessie!!!"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!!!"

As you can see, I pack slightly lighter than Parker, but I still had room for swim trunks and sandals, so, we headed to the beach, at top dinosaur speed, to see if we could find Nessie.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!" (Parker does his best Pamela Anderson running on the beach impression.)

"Excuse me Mr Seagull, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster anywhere around here lately?"

"Sorry bud, I don't really fly out to sea any more. I just hang out on the beach and eat trash from all the tourists. You might try asking at the lifeguard station though." "Okay, thanks!"

"Excuse me Mr Lifeguard, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster around here lately?"

"Yeah, I see her now and then. She's been hanging out down here for the last couple of months on vacation. Let me take a look through my trusty rusty telescope to see if she's around."

"I think I see her out there, a little ways off to the right of that ship. I'll signal to her for you."

The lifeguard flashed a mirror a few times in Morse code to signal to Nessie for us.

"Thanks Mr Lifeguard!"

"Hiiii Paaarrkkeerrr!!!! Sorry I can't swim in any further, I'm too big and I'd get stuck!"

"That's okay, I'll swim out to you."

"Whoa, that wave caught me off guard."

"I'll get a running start this time, and time it so I don't hit a wave."

"AAAAHHHHHH, I timed it wrong!!!"

"Cowabunga!!!"

"Owwwww."

"Even the foam's bigger than me!"

"Run away!!"

"You kids are crazy, the wave out there have to be ten, no, twenty feet tall!!"

"Sorry Nessie, the waves are too big for me! I can't make it out to you."

"That's okay Parker. Have fun on the beach!! There's lots to do there for someone your size. And send me a post card when you get back to Minneapolis."

After we sat on the beach chairs for a while and tried to talk with Nessie as best we could from that distance, Parker got a little restless and wanted to play.

"I'm gonna make a sand castle!!"

Two hours later…

"All done! Isn't it awesome!?!"

“Hmmm, Parker, would you like to play on a little bigger sand castle?  I think I see one over there you might like, and it doesn’t look like anyone else is playing on it right now.”

“Sure, where?”

“Right over there…”

“Wow!!!” … running….

"This. Is. Awesome."

"There she blows! - there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill!"

“Oh, you know what else we should do? …”

"I love the beach."

"I'm awful dirty after getting buried in the sand. I could sure use a shower."

"Ahhhh!!! Can't you see I'm naked!!!!"

"Get out, get out, GET OUT!!! Can't a guy get a little privacy?!?!"

Parker was a little miffed at me after that, so I put the camera away for a while.

As a side note, how often do you see a post with references to Space Balls, Moby Dick, Baywatch, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Monty Python, and an obscure Sesame Street record all in the same place?

I love how the mix of having to walk only on the smooth parts to keep from tamping down the rough parts, and having to work with some speed to do the whole thing before the tide comes in combine to turn making it into a form of dance.

Here’s another short news piece about him:

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