Sep
08
2011

Parker goes to the Powderhorn Art Fair

Last we checked in with Parker, he and I were on our way home for a break after the Uptown Art Fair.  More of the Dino Saga here.


“Hey Parker, ready to go again?”

“I think so.”

“It’s getting pretty late, so we probably won’t make the Loring Park Art Fair, and might have to make a quick trip though Powderhorn.”

“That’s okay Kearn.  I’d rather be well rested and enjoy what we see.”

“Okay, let’s go hop in the car.”

After a brief drive across town, we hopped out, and…

"There it is Kearn, let's go!"

"Look, they even have my sized steps!"

"Sure are a lot of them though."

5 minutes later... "Come on Parker, I want to get your picture by the sign."

"CHEESE."

"Enough photo ops Kearn, let's go see the art fair!"

"Look Kearn, the sign says there are geese in this park. If we see any, we should ask them if they know where Minne is."

“That’s a good idea Parker.”

So, after much ado, we finally made it over our first booth of the Powderhorn Art Fair – Dan Parker’s Parker Project (no website to link to):

"It's like he knew I was coming. Not only did he make a sign for me, he made me a bunch of little friends too!"

"Look, this friend even comes with a snack!"

"And this one's all ready for Halloween. I bet Minne would like him."

"Hmmm, still no geese out on the lake. But a nice view of the park. Let's see what's over here."

Next we walked by Jon Offutt’s House of Mulciber booth.

“Oh Parker, you have to take a look at Jon’s work!  It’s really beautiful.  I’ve seen it at some past art fairs.  Just look at these ones up on the top shelf!”

“But I can’t see Kearn, I’m too short!”

At that Jon came over.  “Hi there little guy, just hop right on up there so you can see better.  Here, I’ll give you a hand.”

"Thanks Jon! That's much better!"

"Wow, these really are nice. I've never seen a glass vase that looks like a landscape before. It looks good enough to eat."

“Parker, I’ve already told you, you can’t eat the art.  Now come on, I think I hear some music you might like.”

“Okay.  Thanks again for the lift Jon!  Hmm, I do kind of like that sound.  Where’s it coming from?”

"Here it is. These guys are way too good to not have a crowd. Let's get some people and have a party!"

"Now that's more like it!"

“Kearn, I’m getting thirsty.  Could we go get a drink?”

“Sure Parker, it looks like that next booth, Ascension Art Glass, has a water bowl out front.  Maybe you could ask the pretty girls working there if you could have a drink.”

“Excuse me miss, could I have a drink from you water bowl?”

“Why yes, of course!  That’s what it’s there for!”

"Thank you!" *lap lap lap lap sluuuuuuurrrppp*

“Come on in and take a look around.  Hop on up, I bet you’d look great in yellow.”

"Kearn, I'm sitting in art, hehehehe"

“Here, take a look at some of our other tables too.  Hop right on over!”

"I feel like I could fit in pretty well here."

But, just as we had started talking with the super nice people at Ascension Art Glass…

"AHHH, Surprise Raptor Attack - RUN AWAY

Parker got spooked and ran off again.  (Raptor courtesy of Kay Schneider of Iowa City, IA (no website). )

By time I caught up to him, he had wandered into a strange land.

"Where... where am I?"

It turns out he was in Steve Brewster’s Moon Bay Artglass Studio (no website) of Poteau, OK.

"What a strange, beautiful land. But, Kearn, it looks like they're starting to pack up."

“It sure does Parker.  I think that may be all the art we’ll see today.”

“Okay, but we still have to go check if there are any geese to talk to before we go.  Come on!”

“Slow down Parker!”

"Come on Kearn, I see some ducks and geese landing now."

*run run run run*

*run run run run*

"Excuse me," *pant, pant*, "excuse me, Mr. Goose!"

"Yes?", "Mr Goose, have you seen Minne the Lake Creature anywhere around here lately?"

"Indeed I have my good sir. I saw her just this morning, down this way, at Lake Hiawatha. If you seek her, then that is where you must go.", "Thanks Mr Goose!"

“Come on Kearn, we’ve got to get home and tell Sinclair we know where Minnie is!”

To be continued… (though probably not for a couple of weeks).

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , | Written by on Sep 08,2011 |
Aug
31
2011

Parker goes to the Uptown Art Fair – Part 2

Last we saw Parker, he was roaming the Uptown Art Fair looking for a snack, and had been directed towards Calhoun Square by a friendly stranger.  More of the Dino Saga here.


“Let’s see, he said thee was food down this way…”

"This must be what he was talking about! An apple store. Not a lot of variety, but I suppose an apple does sound delicious on a hot day like this."

“Uh, Parker, I don’t think it’s that kind of an apple store, I think they actually sell…”

"Oh course it is! See, they even have a water bowl to cleanse your palette before going in. That's how you know it's a nice fruit stand."

"NOM! See this one is delicious! Though the color does seem a little off. Maybe it's out of season."

McParker the crime dino takes a bite out of apple. (Or something like that)

"Look Kearn, they even have computers you can play with while you digest!"

"And they have games on them!"

“Come on Parker, let’s get you some real food.”

"But.., but, my ball balancing circus seal is almost leveled up to 60!"

“Come on Parker, let’s at least play with some of the other toys.  Here, why don’t you try out an iPod.”

"The sign says it's a Nano, but the headphones are Mega!"

“We could get you one of these for your birthday Parker.  Would you like that?”

“I don’t know, I still really like my Walkman.”

“Your Walkman?!?!  You really are a dinosaur Parker!  These are way better than that!”

“Okay, what do they do?”

“Well, you can listen to music on them.  The newest models even have an fm radio built right into them.”

“Does it let you record music?”

“Well, no.”

“Does it have replaceable batteries?”

“Um, no, I guess not.”

“Can you use it to make mix tapes to give to your friends?”

“Well, not really.  I guess you could hook it to your computer and make a play list in iTunes.  But, the other person would need to download the songs too before they could play it, and, well…”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick to my Walkman.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll have to think of something else for your birthday.  Let’s go get you some food.”

“Look – deep fried cheese curds, and it’s not even the state fair yet!”

"Mmmm, Bucket o' Cheese..." *drool*

*NOM*

“Let’s see if we can find you something a little more healthy.  Here, try some corn.”

"But it always gets stuck in my teeth. What about some Chinese food?"

"Now THAT'S a dino sized meal!" *nom nom nom nom nom*

“Wow, I’m stuffed now.  I think it’s time for some more art.”

“Okay, let’s check out some t-shirt.  These ones by Batik by Kat are nice!”

"I like the color of the froggy, and the dog looks fun, but I'm not sure if they're quite me."

“Hello there, little one.  I’m Kat, can I help you find anything?”

“You’re Kat?  Somehow I was expecting more whiskers and fur, and maybe a tail…,  you look much more like a friendly person than a Kat.”

“Ah yes, that confuses many of the little dinosaurs that stop by our booth.  I am, in fact, a person.”

“I see, well, I like these ones, but I don’t think they’re quite me…”

“Oh, I think we have a design you might like better.  Here, try this one.”

"IT'S PERFECT!!!"

“Can we get it Kearn? Can we pleeeaaasssseeee?!?!”

“I don’t know Parker, it looks a little big for you.  Excuse me Kat, do you make this in an extra, extra, extra, extra dino small?”

“Oh, sorry, we only go down to an extra, extra dino small.  And it looks like your little friend would take some growing to fit into one of those.  But here, take our card and you can get one from our website when he gets bigger.”

“Thank you.  Parker, I may have a birthday present idea for you after all, just maybe not for this year.”

“I like that idea.  Let’s see who else we can meet while we’re here.”

Next we wandered past Wild Cat Works‘ bird houses.

"Hellooooooo up there..."

But it turned out no birds had moved into the shiny new bird penthouses yet, so we kept moving.

"There must be all sorts of things to buy down here..."

“Parker, I think I see a place you may like.”

"It's like this whole place was made for dinosaurs! Too bad I filled up on that Chinese food. A Gyro sounds tasty!"

Next we walked past the myTalk 107.1 booth, and Parker took an interest in a sign they had our in front.

"Look Kearn! I don't know what a myTalk is, but these people need help. And help making art no less. I bet I could do that!"

"I bet you could. Here, I put some letters and decorations for you on the T, let's see if you can make something out of that."

"Look Kearn! I made my name. Now we just need to glue it down... Um, could you help with that part? I don't have any thumbs, and I don't want to accidentally glue my feet to the poster."

"Sure Parker. And you can add some stickers to make it even prettier."

"Hooray! I'll be famous now!"

"Do you think anyone will notice it in all of this?" "I think so Parker, it's a very nice flower after all."

Next we stopped by a booth where you could get your picture taken in front of a green screen, and have the background replaced with anywhere in the world.  Parker was going to play a trick on everyone and get one with the Roman Coliseum in the background and tell everyone he went to Rome over the weekend.  Unfortunately, the computer had a hard time telling the difference between Parker and the background.  So, he’ll have to find another trick to play.

We kept walking, and before long we pasted in front of James Sauer’s sculptures, and…

"AAAAHHHHHHH GIANT BIRDIE GONNA EAT ME RUNAWAY!!!!!!!" *run run run run*

They may have been a little too realistic for Parker’s taste.

Luckily, once Parker finally slowed down, we weren’t far from Keith Kinney’s booth, where Parker found a place to rest for a bit.

(I couldn’t find a business card at Keith’s booth, and from searching, the only website I found for him (http://www.stylesofoakheritage.net/) seems to be down / missing, but it was Keith Kinney of Yellow Springs, OH, in case you like the rockers.)

"Look, there's even space for my tail to go through between the slats. What a comfy chair!"

“Kearn, all that running from the eagle made me awfully tired, and we’ve been walking a lot today.  Can we head home and take a break before going to the Powederhorn Art Fair?”

“Sure Parker, let’s get you some rest and some air conditioning.”

On the way out, we walked past the RuTu Paddle Company, which has some really pretty stuff, but Parker was too tired to pose any more.

However, just past there, we came across the strangest thing, and had to pause for one last picture…

"Wait, why is a boat bike locked to a pipe, 4 blocks from the nearest water? There's not even any trailer or wheels to be able to move it. What's going on here?"

“I don’t know Parker, sometimes Uptown just doesn’t make sense.”

Comments (2) | Tags: , , , , , | Written by on Aug 31,2011 |
Aug
24
2011

Parker goes to the Uptown Art Fair – Part 1

Last we saw our dino heroes, Parker was wrapping up an Orange Bowl victory in Miami, while Sinclair was still trying to figure out where Minne the Lake Creature had gone to.  Since then, I’ve found out that for dinosaurs to live to 65 million years old, they have to hibernate for a while every now and then.  It’s a rather sporadic schedule, but if that’s what it takes to live to 65 million years old and still keep your youthful vigor, I guess you can’t complain.

Parker has woken up from his hibernation with a lot of energy and ready to go, while Sinclair has still been a bit groggy lately.  Parker has also decided to have the tattoos on his back removed, so people don’t keep confusing him with his beloved brother, who he got them in honor of.  If that none of that makes any sense, you can catch up by reading the existing posts in the Dino Saga series.


“Good morning Parker, what are you up to?”

"I was just reading your blog post about the art fairs this weekend. They sound fun! Can we go?"

“Sure Parker. Are you planning to buy some art while we’re there?”

“Maybe, what does it take to buy art?”

“Just some money.”

“Oh, let me go grab mine!  I’ve been saving up!”

"Let's see, I've got one dollar, forty-two cents, a button, a broken zipper, five bits of string, and a Jack of Spades. Is that enough for an art?"

“Um, I don’t think so Parker.  Most places don’t take bits of string as a form of payment.  But we can still go look.”

“Okay.  Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

And out the door we went.

"Wow, it looks like there's a ton of art here. Let's get going."

"I'd hate to meet the painter that goes with those, I'm small enough compared to normal sized people!"

“You know Parker, we’re going to be doing a lot of walking today.  I know you have the energy for it, but do you think you feet will be able to hold up?”

“Hmm, you’re right, they might get sore.”

Luckily, the first place in the Uptown Art Fair is the Uptown Running Room.

So, we stopped by their sidewalk sale to see if the friendly people there could help us out.

"Hi there. I would like a pair of art fair walking shoes, please."

"We don't usually stock dinosaur shoes. Hmmm, this is the smallest pair we have for your foot type. Give them a try."

"They seem a little roomy in the toe, but let me take them for a jog to see how they feel."

"Nope, definitely too big."

“Okay, we could always order something in your size, but for today maybe Kearn can just carry you when your feet get tired.”

“Yeah, I could do that.  Thanks for trying Running Room people!”

Parker was getting anxious, “Okay, now let’s go see some art!”  So, our first stop was Daryl Harwood and Kevin Murphy‘s booth.

They make Ikebana flower bases, which have little spiked clusters in them you can put the flowers on so they’ll stand up straight, and have water.

"And we actually make them using leaves from our garden for the shape of each piece."

"They look good enough to eat!"

"Come on Parker, we should go before you chip a tooth, or slip onto one of those little spikes."

Next, we stopped by the music stage Old Chicago had set up, which seemed strangely empty.

"I was born for the stage..."

"AND THAT BIRD YOU CAN NOT CHAAAAAAANNNGE, AND THAT... um, Kearn, could you move the mic down a little bit, I'm getting a lot of feedback here."

After Parker’s set, and three encores, we continued on, and found a Volvo dealership had set up shop at the art fair.

"That's right ladies, I'm not only beautiful, but apparently I'm safe too."

“Hey Parker, how do you think the ladies would like you in this old car?”

"Hmm, it's okay, but I was thinking maybe a convertible..."

"Now that's more like it. Bugs in my teeth, the wind on my tail, and the open road ahead."

“Hmm, but Parker, can you reach the pedals?”

"Umm, not really..."

"And more importantly, I can't reach the radio. I guess this isn't the car for me after all."

“Well, let’s see what else they have.”

"Kearn, look! This one has a big screen TV in the trunk! Oh, wait. That doesn't make any sense at all."

“Parker, could you come over here and jump up real high?  I want to get your picture with the Uptown Theatre sign!”

"WEEeeeeeeeee!!!"

“Kearn, all this jumping is making me hungry.  Can we go back and eat those flower stands we saw earlier?”

“No Parker, I don’t think the artists would like that very much.  But, we can see if we can find you some real food.”

“Here, let’s ask this guy if he know where we could find some food around here.”

"Excuse me Mr Chino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Um, I guess I'm not familiar with dinosaur dietary needs, but you might want to check with my friend Latino."

"Excuse me Mr Latino, would you know where we could find some dino snacks around here?" "Why yes! If you head over towards Calhoun Square, you should find all manner of confections!" "Thanks Mr Latino!"

"Boy, I hope confections means food. There's Calhoun Square! Let's go!"

To be continued…

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , , , , | Written by on Aug 24,2011 |
Jan
28
2010

Parker in Miami – Part 3 – Tailgating and the Orange Bowl

This is a part of the dino saga, if it doesn’t make any sense, read these.


After a good night’s sleep, we got up early to go tailgating.  Okay, not that early, it was an 8:00 PM game, but the point here is we went tailgating, and Parker got things started off right.

Parker enjoying the Breakfast of Champions, with Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium in the background.

Does anyone else ever wonder if the beer (Land Shark) was named after this really old Saturday Night Live skit, and for that matter, if they had this particular clip in mind when they got naming right for the stadium where the Dolphins play?

No? Just me? Okay, moving on with tailgating then…

Let's see, Hawkeye fans and Hawkeye flags as far as I can see this way, even when standing on the car (it's a rental).

And more Hawkeye fans this way. Behind us was still empty at this point, but eventually also filled up with Hawkeye fans.

A few hours of tailgating later, night falls, and we learn that Parker can apparently hold his beer substantially better than Sinclair.

"Buuuuurrrrp."

Yes, Parker was also standing on the car.  Life lesson?  Never buy a used car that was a rental.  Ever.

So, it was getting closer to game time, and we decided to head into Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium, up the giant spiraling corkscrew ramp, which gives a pretty good view of the tailgating festivities.

A yell of "Go Hawks!" from this height comes back as an echo. In fact, it comes back as an echo from about 40 different location, each echo having a distinct tone and intoxication level. These echos then get echos of their own in a bit of a "Go Hawks" ripple effect. It's a pretty cool physics experiment really.

There were also a couple of tour buses, which also echoed quite well.

Now you may be saying, “Kearn, those last two pictures don’t have Parker in them at all, and tailgating seemed to go by rather quickly.”  Did I mention we were tailgating, and I was drinking?  Good, now that we’ve cleared that up, I’d like to point out that arepas may be the best drunk food ever.  It’s like you took cornbread, but made it into a sort of pancake form, and then once that was cooked, you heated it up on a grill with cheese (um, a kind that’s white, I have no idea which kind) between two of these cornbread pancake things until it was all gooey and warm.  Delicious.  They serve them at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium.  Anyway, after that delicious break, we made it into the stadium, and back to Parker.  Luckily we left ourselves plenty of time to get to our seats.

"This is a lot of steps for my tiny legs. Did we have to get seats so high up?"

“To be in the Hawkeye section, yes.  And to be on about the 45 yard line on the Hawkeye side, absolutely.”

"I'm sure they're great seats and all, but I can't see anything!! What's going on down there??"

"The view's no better over here. They're playing on the other half of the field."

"Kearn, can I sit on your shoulders?" "Sure Parker."

"Ahh, much better!!! Thanks Kearn!! Go Defense!!!!

"Come on Defense!! Stop them!!!!"

Now, you may notice that between those two pictures, Georgia Tech went about 40 yards on offense.  This was basically the only time this happened during the game.  This was also basically the only time Parker was watching.  Now, I tend to not be too superstitious, but this was enough to make me convince Parker to stay in my pocket for the rest of the game, thus the lack of more game pictures with him.  Once it was safe again, he came came out to watch some more.

"Yaaaaayyyyy!! Hawks win!!! Go Hawks!!! Or should I say 2010 Orange Bowl Champions!!!!"

Jan
27
2010

Parker in Miami – Part 2 – Lincoln Road and the Quest for a Drink

This is a part of the larger dino saga, if it doesn’t make any sense, read these.


After our time on the beach, Parker and I decided to explore the Lincoln Road pedestrian mall in South Beach.  We were a little slow getting there, as Parker decided to stop for a snack.

"OM NOM NOM NOM."

And of course the bushes are always greener on the other side of the pedestrian walk way, so, we had to try those too.

"You know, this place kind of reminds me a little of Jurassic Park. What's that? There's a movie called Jurassic Park, too? How odd, that was the name of my kindergarten. They had great play pens, and a really nice science lab, too. What's that? No, no people at all. Why do you ask?"

I let Parker take all the time he want eating those bushes.  “Aren’t plants delicious Parker?”

"Why, yes, they are quite good. And here's a nice trendy little snack bar they left out, too. But I'm getting stuffed."

“Phew, good.”

“What’s that Kearn?”

“Oh, nothing.”

"Let's go exploring! It looks like there's all kinds of shops and restaurants and stuff here."

"Hmmm, this place looks a little too, oh, what's the word, posh for my tastes."

"Look, swim suits! Those would have been nice to have on the beach."

"And it looks like they're about half off. Plus there's a sale! Oh, wait, they're not half off, it's just that..."

South Beach – where even the mannequins have implants.

"Now this is my kind of store!!"

Let it be noted that the store Parker is posing in front of in this picture was selling Hawkeye gear.  And only Hawkeye gear.  No general sports merchandise.  Just Iowa Hawkeye clothes and memorabilia, and nothing else.  In Miami.  There was absolutely no Georgia Tech (the other team in the Orange Bowl) stuff, or any other store like it selling Georgia Tech stuff.  And it wasn’t a sports store that just rotates through whatever team is visiting for whatever game – it was an empty store front on Saturday, it was a full fledged Hawkeye store on Monday.  Apparently word gets out about how well our fans travel.

We had walked a ways, so Parker grabbed another snack.

"Really does remind me of Jurassic Park a bit."

“And you’re sure you’re okay with just eating plants, right Parker?”

"Well, now that you mention it, and I see that Duck Boat there, I could really go for... something to drink."

“Oh, good.  I mean, I think we can find you something to drink.  How about that fountain over there?”

"Yeah, that looks good, it even has a bubbler to drink out of!"

"Hmmm, it smells kind of... gross though. I wonder if there are any other places to find a drink around here?"

"Excuse me Mr Fishy, would you know of where I could find a drink around here?" "Why yes, I know all sorts of places. After all, I drink like a..., well, I don't know what I drink like, but I drink a lot. My favorite spot is just down there on the left." "Thanks Mr Fishy!"

"Hmmm, I can see why he likes it so much, but it smells a little funny just like the last one. Maybe I should ask someone a little more classy..."

"Excuse me my fine gentleman, could I trouble you to direct me to an establishment serving only the finest, most high quality, non-smelly drinks?"

"How much you looking to spend?" "Um, I don't have any money actually." "Well then you can go stick your head in a fire hydrant for all I care."

"Hmmm, I don't see where you turn it on. Maybe I should ask someone else."

"Excuse me Mr Giraffe. I'm really thirsty and was wondering if you would know where I can get a drink?" "Oh, why yes little one. There's actually three places along this block that serve giraffes. The first two are a little hit or miss, but you can't go wrong at the third one." "Thank you Mr Giraffe!!"

"Hmm, the Score Doggy Bar looks fancy and trendy, but there's cigarette butts floating in it. I think I'll try the other places."

"This one has almost no water in it, and it's too far down for me to reach. I hope Mr Giraffe was right about the third place."

So we kept walking down to the end of the block, until finally we found…

"Ahhh, Dom Perignon, now this is more like it!!!"

"Mr Giraffe has good taste, I could get used to this!"

After Parker had his fill, we decided to head back to the hotel and relax for a while.  We wanted to be well rested for tailgating the next day, so we decided to turn in early.  I tucked Parker into his little dino bunk…

"Good night Kearn." "Good night Parker."

And we slept with dreams of Hawkeye bowl wins in our heads.

Comments (0) | Tags: , , , , , | Written by on Jan 27,2010 |
Jan
26
2010

Parker in Miami – Part 1 – The Beach

If you haven’t read them before, the previous episodes of the dino saga will help make this make slightly more sense.  Not lots of sense, just more than it would otherwise.

In this episode / series, Parker goes to the Orange Bowl in Miami to see the Hawkeyes play.  My going along is part of why there was that couple week long lull of no posting – planning the trip, going down, being there a few days, coming back, getting my feet back on the ground, not to mention Christmas, New Years, some things shifting at work, and just generally having needed a bit of a break.  At any rate, I’m back now.

Also, I’m breaking this episode into 3 parts (this is the first, as the title would indicate) because:

  1. There are lots of pictures.
  2. There are basically 3 distinct stories.
  3. These posts take for freaking ever to make, so I want to stretch it out a little bit and make the effort for each a little more manageable.

The third segment is a little short for reasons I’ll explain in that post, so that one’s more like half a post compared to the other two.  As a bonus though, there will also be one non-Parker, non-dino post of Miami stuff after the third as well.  So, really, it like 2 and 2 half post about Miami.  So, anyway, let’s get started, shall we…


As it turns out, Nessie has an in with the BCS people and helped them decide that Iowa should go to the Orange Bowl in Miami so she could see Parker, instead of sending Iowa to the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently Nessie doesn’t do well in the desert, being a lake creature and all, and it turns out that Plesiosaurs have a surprisingly large say in the BCS selection process.  Who knew?

So, when we heard that Iowa was headed to Miami, Parker decided that we needed to go.  Sinclair stayed behind to hibernate.  Because dinosaurs hibernate, I guess.  That or he’s just lazy and still moping about not being able to find Minne.  Who knows?  He has his moments of being a rather surly fellow, but I think mostly it’s just the cold and dark weather getting to him, cold blooded and all.

So, Parker and I got our tickets and flew down to Miami a couple of days before the game.  The TSA is surprisingly permissive with dinosaurs.  Apparently they’re a well connected bunch.  Anyway, as soon as we got to the Miami airport, we decided we should go find the hotel, settle in a little bit, and then go see what South Beach has to offer.  Without thinking, I had let Parker do some of the planning, like the car…

Parker rolls in style.

Also, it turns out Parker packs like a Druish Princess.

"Ah, I see my bags have arrived. Are you sure we packed my industrial strength hair dryer? Because I can't live with out it."

And he fit in pretty well in the hotel lobby while they were taking the bags up, too.

The dinosaur matches the pillows!

Once we got up to our room, Parker decided to check out the view.

"I can see the ocean! We should go see if we can find Nessie!!!"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!!!"

As you can see, I pack slightly lighter than Parker, but I still had room for swim trunks and sandals, so, we headed to the beach, at top dinosaur speed, to see if we could find Nessie.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!" (Parker does his best Pamela Anderson running on the beach impression.)

"Excuse me Mr Seagull, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster anywhere around here lately?"

"Sorry bud, I don't really fly out to sea any more. I just hang out on the beach and eat trash from all the tourists. You might try asking at the lifeguard station though." "Okay, thanks!"

"Excuse me Mr Lifeguard, have you seen the Loch Ness Monster around here lately?"

"Yeah, I see her now and then. She's been hanging out down here for the last couple of months on vacation. Let me take a look through my trusty rusty telescope to see if she's around."

"I think I see her out there, a little ways off to the right of that ship. I'll signal to her for you."

The lifeguard flashed a mirror a few times in Morse code to signal to Nessie for us.

"Thanks Mr Lifeguard!"

"Hiiii Paaarrkkeerrr!!!! Sorry I can't swim in any further, I'm too big and I'd get stuck!"

"That's okay, I'll swim out to you."

"Whoa, that wave caught me off guard."

"I'll get a running start this time, and time it so I don't hit a wave."

"AAAAHHHHHH, I timed it wrong!!!"

"Cowabunga!!!"

"Owwwww."

"Even the foam's bigger than me!"

"Run away!!"

"You kids are crazy, the wave out there have to be ten, no, twenty feet tall!!"

"Sorry Nessie, the waves are too big for me! I can't make it out to you."

"That's okay Parker. Have fun on the beach!! There's lots to do there for someone your size. And send me a post card when you get back to Minneapolis."

After we sat on the beach chairs for a while and tried to talk with Nessie as best we could from that distance, Parker got a little restless and wanted to play.

"I'm gonna make a sand castle!!"

Two hours later…

"All done! Isn't it awesome!?!"

“Hmmm, Parker, would you like to play on a little bigger sand castle?  I think I see one over there you might like, and it doesn’t look like anyone else is playing on it right now.”

“Sure, where?”

“Right over there…”

“Wow!!!” … running….

"This. Is. Awesome."

"There she blows! - there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill!"

“Oh, you know what else we should do? …”

"I love the beach."

"I'm awful dirty after getting buried in the sand. I could sure use a shower."

"Ahhhh!!! Can't you see I'm naked!!!!"

"Get out, get out, GET OUT!!! Can't a guy get a little privacy?!?!"

Parker was a little miffed at me after that, so I put the camera away for a while.


As a side note, how often do you see a post with references to Space Balls, Moby Dick, Baywatch, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Monty Python, and an obscure Sesame Street record all in the same place?

Comments (1) | Tags: , , , , , , , | Written by on Jan 26,2010 |
Dec
10
2009

Mr Sinclair goes to Iowa

Previous post in the dino-saga here and here.  And yes, it took me forever to get around to downloading the pictures from my camera for this episode, so it’s a little behind the times, but it keeps you up to date with the saga.


Sinclair has been hanging out at my place for quite a while now, and after getting rested up after his long journey from Florida, we started our search to see if we could find Minne.  So far we’ve had no luck, but it appears from her twitter account that she’s planning to come back in the spring.  After much consoling and a few cookies, I got Sinclair to accept that he won’t be able to see her until then.  In the mean time I’ve been distracting him with Hawkeye sports.

Sinclair took me up on the suggestion that we go down to the Iowa vs Minnesota game this year and go tailgating.  Nessie sent me a letter and said that she was going to swim up to meet us there, but that Mississippi current was too strong for her, and unlike Sinclair, every time she asked a barge captain for a ride, he’d scream in fear and mutter something about needing to “cut back” and run away.  However, she told me that she had a certain feeling we’d meet another Iowa fan at the game if we told her where we’d be tailgating, so I sent her the address.

We drove down to Iowa for the game the night before so we could sleep a little there and go tailgating.  We got up early, but Sinclair was pretty restless.

I wonder where Minne went...

"I wonder where Minne went..."

So I told him to go for a little walk to burn off some energy, since he seems to be good at that.

"Hey, who are you?" <br />"I'm Parker, I think Nessie told you about me."

"I'm so excited for my first Iowa game!"

"So you're who she was talking about. You look strangely familiar for some reason." <br />"Of course I do, I'm (dramtic pause) your brother!"

"Hey, who are you?" "I'm Parker, I think Nessie told you about me."

hi

"So you're who she was talking about. You look strangely familiar for some reason." "Of course I do, I'm (dramatic pause) your brother!"

Brothers gotta hug

Brothers gotta hug

"Come tailgate with us Parker"<br /> "Okay"<br /> "Kearn, grab Parker a beer!"

"Come tailgate with us Parker" "Okay" "Kearn, grab Parker a beer!"

"That's okay Kearn, I think I'll just stick with Diet Coke for now."

"That's okay Kearn, I think I'll just stick with Diet Coke for now."

“Come to think of it, Sinclair, are you old enough to drink?”

"Of course I am.  I'm a dinosuar.  I'm over 65 million years old."

"Of course I am. I'm a dinosaur. I'm over 65 million years old."

“Oh, I suppose that makes sense, kind of.  Ready for another?”

"Yes, thanks.  Um, can you tip it up just a little more?  No arms or thumbs and all."

"Yes, thanks. Um, can you tip it up just a little more? No arms or thumbs and all."

“Sure.  Are you guys hungry?  We’re a little too lazy to do actual grilling tailgate food, but we do have some cookies and chips.”

"COOKIES!!!!! OM NOM NOMNOMNOM

"COOKIES!!!!! OM NOM NOMNOMNOM"

"I thiNK I'll jJUst have SOome of ThEse MUNchiEsSSs"

"I thiNK I'll jJUst have SOome of ThEse MUNchiEsSSs"

“Sinclair, that’s an awful lot of beer to drink that fast, especially for someone your size.”

NOMNOMNOMNOM

NOMNOMNOMNOM

"Yuuurrr RIGHT!  I think I'LL ssswitch To suma THISSSTuff."

"Yuuurrr RIGHT! I think I'LL ssswitch To suma THISSSTuff."

And I think we all know where that leads.  About 20 minutes later it was almost time to go to the game…

"uhhhhh, I don't feel so good"

"uhhhhh, I don't feel so good"

“Here Sinclair, have some water.”

“Thanks, I think I might stay back and take a little nap.  Parker can use my ticket and go to the game with you guys.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, though it is a little chilly.  Do you have anything I could borrow to cover up with?  I’m cold blooded and all…”

“Sure, here, hop in the car.  I happen to have an old Iowa Marching Band raincoat that you can cover up with.  It even has the old fuzzy fleece liner in it.  I’ll even tuck you in.”

"Thanks Kearn!  You and Parker enjoy the game now!"

"Thanks Kearn! You and Parker enjoy the game now!"

So, we started walking to the game.

"Wow, that's a lot of people for still being this far from the stadium, there must be a lot of Iowa fans."

"Wow, that's a lot of people for still being this far from the stadium, there must be a lot of Iowa fans."

"Hmmm, glad I don't have to play these guys..."

"Hmmm, glad I don't have to play these guys..."

Parker made some friends along the way too.

"Goose people!"

"Goose people!"

"Look guys, look!  There it is!  I can hear the crowd from here!  Let's hurry!"

"Look guys, look! There it is! I can hear the crowd from here! Let's hurry!"

"Look at all these people!  Even Mr. Kinnick is here!"

"Look at all these people! Even Mr. Kinnick is here!"

It took a little while to get in, but we got there just in time.

"LET"S GO HAWKS!!!"

"LET"S GO HAWKS!!!"

"WOOOOOO!!!!"

"WOOOOOO!!!!"

sinclair-in-iowa-025

We settled in to watch the game, and before too long...

TOUCHDOWN!!!

TOUCHDOWN IOWA!!!

And the point after

And the point after...

"I... O... W... A..."

"I... O... W... A..."

It was a little quiet for a while after that.

Halftime.  Where Minnesota hears a little rah-rah speech and Pat Angerer plots even more creative ways to make their offense look silly.

Halftime. Where Minnesota hears a little rah-rah speech and Pat Angerer plots even more creative ways to grind Minnesota's offense into the turf.

Parker got a little bored during half time…

"RARW!  I big scary monster!"

"RAWR!!! I big scary monster! Parker stomp!!"

He takes after the defense.

A little while later, they got ready to kick off the second half, and we’re all lucky Parker was there.

"Look out Gopher!  That guy's going to light you on fire!"

"Look out Gopher! That guy's going to light you on fire!"

Parker quickly ran down and restrained the unruly fan.  After all, we’d hate to see the Minnesota team catch fire for the first time since Decker got hurt.

All clear, proceed.

All clear, proceed.

The second half was, shall we say, less than photogenic.  But at least one fan in front of us did get pretty excited.

"WOOO!  Time out! Yeah!"

"WOOO! Time out! Yeah!"

Until we finally arrived at the greatest (if also most blurry) play in football, the victory formation.

Take a blurry knee boys.

Take a fuzzy knee boys.

12-0.  Second straight shut out.

12-0. Not the 12-0 we hoped for, but we'll take it. And the second year in a row of shut outs.

"Ohh, that looks fun!  Let's go join!"

"Ohh, that looks fun! Let's go join!"

"Quick!  I want to meet Floyd!"

"Quick! I want to meet Floyd!"

A side note, dinosaurs are incredibly slow on steps.  So, it took a little while to get down there and we missed Floyd, but we did get to see…

Touchdown Parker!

Touchdown Parker!

A security guard came over and tried to punt Parker right after this picture.

A security guard came over and tried to punt Parker right after this picture. I'm not kidding.

So, after the meanie security guard, we decided to go meet the band.  They were much nicer, one even let Parker try his horn.

HONK!!!!!

HONK!!!!!

Then we went over to meet the cheer leaders, they were pretty nice too, and seemed to like Parker…

"I think she's checking me out."

"I think she's checking me out."

Over all it was a fun game and a great day.

Go Hawks.

Go Hawks.

Until next time Mr Kinnick, until next time.

"Bye Nile!"<br />"Bye Parker!"

"Bye Nile!" "Bye Parker!"

Oct
26
2009

Mini-Minne: The Journey of Sinclair

After my post suggesting Halloween costumes for our local lake creature, and Nessie’s comment on it, Nessie sent me another note:

Hi Kearn,

I forgot to mention, I have a little buddy down here too.  His name’s Sinclair.  When he saw your post about Minne and her website, he couldn’t wait to get up there.  He’s pretty young, and has lots of energy, and kind of wears me out, so I thought it would be good for him to burn off a little energy with an outing, so I let him go ahead.  I gave him some directions to Minneapolis, but my directions might not be the best since I haven’t been there before.  I also gave him your address so he could get a hold of you when he gets there.  Hope you don’t mind.  He’s quite friendly.

Oh, and be sure to have a little extra food on hand.  I packed him a lunch before he left, but I’m sure he’ll work up quite the appetite on the trip.

I’m moving a little slower these days, so I think I’ll just plan to meet up with you at the Iowa Minnesota game if these fins can hold up to that strong Mississippi current.  See you then,

Nessie

Sure enough, tonight I heard a little tapping at my door, and when I opened it, there stood a little tiny, shivering green dinosaur.  I could tell from his tattoos that this must be Sinclair, so I brought him in and got him some hot cocoa, a blanket, and some lawn clippings.  He thanked me, and I asked him how his trip was.

“It was good, and there were all sorts of wonderful things and nice people along the way.”

“How did you manage to get up here so quickly?  It’s a long ways from Florida, I didn’t think I’d see you for at least a few more days yet.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t walk the whole way, I made friends with a sea captain, and he gave me a ride over to New Orleans, and then a barge friend of his gave me a ride up the Mississippi.  It was a really fun ride, he even let me ride up front!”

Barge

“Then, once we got up to Minneapolis, I saw a waterfall in the river, and I got scared, so I jumped off the barge and swam over to the shore.”

sinclair-02

Boy, it sure was cold in there.

But there's no way I would have made it up that waterfall

But there's no way I would have made it up that waterfall

“As soon as I got out of the river, I saw a little path going up the hill, so I thought I would go up and see if anyone could help me find my way.”

I hope the whole city isn't this steep, my little legs will wear out

I hope the whole city isn't this steep, my little legs will wear out

“As luck would have it, as soon as I got to the top of the hill, there was a big guy sitting right there, so I asked him if he knew how to get to Lake of the Isles, but he didn’t say a word.”

Must be the strong, silent type

Must be the strong, silent type

So, I asked one of his friends there.

Excuss me Mr Guthrie, would you know how to get to Lake of the Isles?

Excuse me Mr Guthrie, would you know how to get to Lake of the Isles?

Well, Sinclair, I don't travel from here much, but I think if you go towards that giant bubble over there and then turn right, you'll be on your way

Well, Sinclair, I don't travel from here much, but I think if you go towards that giant bubble over there and then turn right, you'll be on your way

“Thanks Mr Guthrie!”, I shouted, and headed toward the big bubble.

Hmmm, not much a crowd today

Hmmm, not much a crowd today

It seemed sort of quiet, but it must be a wonderful place to have all the huge inside space when it’s so cold out, they must use it for everything thing here.  It must be busy all the time!  I guess I must have caught it on the one quiet day of the year.  So, I kept going, and turned right, like Mr Guthrie told me to.

Then I saw all these giant square rocks sticking up into the sky.

Better keep moving, no stopping here

Better keep moving, no stopping here

Then I saw a building that I read about on Stray Hawkeye, the headquarters of the Star Tribune.

Future home of the Pie Star

Future home of the Pie-Star

I had to get my picture with their sign.

Maybe I could be their mascot?

Maybe I could be their mascot?

But then I wasn’t sure where I was going again, so I decide to ask someone.

Excuse me Mr Brown, do you know how to get to Lake of the Isles?

Excuse me Mr Brown, do you know how to get to Lake of the Isles?

“Sorry, I’m terrible with directions,” he said, “Lucy might know though.”

Why yes Sinclair, I actually have some directions written up on the bottom part of this paper

Why yes Sinclair, I actually have some directions written up on this paper.

“Thanks Lucy!  And my that’s a pretty colored dress you have on.”

“Thank you Sinclair, and good luck on your trip!”

So, the directions said I’m supposed to follow the train tracks to Nicollet Mall, and then turn left.

Wait, isn't the beer train supposed to be Coors Light?

Wait, isn't the beer train supposed to be Coors Light?

I decided to stop for a snack, I was getting awfully hungry from all that walking.

Hope no one will mind

Hope no one will mind

Not a bad background for a snack.

That's a funny looking rock. Pretty though. Not a bad setting for a snack.

That should hold me over for a little bit.  After a couple blocks, I check for directions again, just to be sure.

Okay, just a couple more blocks to Nicollet?  Thanks!

Okay, just a couple more blocks to Nicollet? Thanks!

This is why I don't trust the skyways.

This is why I don't trust the skyways.

Oh, this must be Nicollet Mall!

Oh, this must be Nicollet Mall! Let's see, I turn left here.

So, I started walking down Nicollet Mall. It’s a busy place!

OOoooo, shiny tall rock.

OOoooo, shiny tall rock.

Umm, Ma'am?  You might want to keep your hat, it gets awfully cold here from what I hear.

Umm, Ma'am? You might want to keep your hat, it gets awfully cold here from what I hear.

Ohh, a wedding party, fancy.  Congrats!!

Ohh, a wedding party, fancy. Congrats!!

I was getting really cold, especially with no hat, so I decided to go inside for a little bit, and try out the skyways.

Ahhhhh, much warmer.

Ahhhhh, much warmer.

Let’s see, just up the escalator here.  Hmm, I might stop for a little snack while I warm up.

Om nom nom nom nom.

Om nom nom nom nom.

Another up hill, this is a long ways.

Another up hill, this is a long ways.

Not a bad view, but I'm getting really turned around.

Not a bad view, but I'm getting really turned around up here.

I decided I should go back outside, so I could get my bearings again, and right there were some of Minne’s goose people friends!

They're even Minne sized!

They're even Minne sized!

I decided to go make some friends.

So, just a few more block down to a fountain and then right to Loring Park?  Thanks!

So, just a few more block that way to a fountain and then right to Loring Park? Thanks big bird!

An Irish pub? I think Nessie would like it here

An Irish pub? I think Nessie would like it here

Just a couple more block that way?  Thanks Mr Conductor!

Just a couple more block that way? Thanks Mr Conductor!

Another British pub?  Nessie would definitely like it here.

Another British pub? Nessie would definitely like it here.

Oh, there's the fountain, this must be where I turn.

Oh, there's the fountain, this must be where I turn.

Boy this is a long ways

Boy this is a long ways

I was just thinking, I could use another snack, and then…

A BUFFET!!!!!

A BUFFET!!!!!

I didn’t see any trays, so I just helped myself.  I got a full tummy.  And you know what I saw next when I started walking again? A playground!!!!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!

WHHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

WHHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

That was awesome.  But, I should probably keep walking.  Bye bye playground!

This must be Loring Park.  Hmm, let's see if I can find some one who can tell me where to go from here.

This must be Loring Park. Hmm, let's see if I can find some one who can tell me where to go from here.

Oh, more goose people, they should be able to help!

Oh, more goose people, they should be able to help!

Okay, over the bridge, through the garden, and then through Kenwood.

This is a lot of steps, couldn't they make them shorter?  I can barely get up them.

This is a lot of steps, couldn't they make them shorter? I can barely get up them all.

Well, at least I'm not driving, that looks confusing!

Well, at least I'm not driving, that looks confusing!

Uhhh, I don't get it.

Uhhh, I don't get it.

Ahhh!  Goose poop!  I'm standing in goose poop!  It's everywhere!  Icky!!

Ahhh! Goose poop! I'm standing in goose poop! It's everywhere! Icky!!

So, I rinsed off my feet, and then walked through Kenwood.  Not much interesting there, just lots of big houses.  The people back there must have huge families to need that much space.  Even a lake monster would have a hard time filling some of those houses!  So, I just kept walking.

Not quite a duck, but it works.

I'm not quite a duck, but it works.

Okay, all clear now, let's go!

Okay, all clear now, let's go!

Let's see, I am here, so that means I should go that way

Let's see, I think I'm getting close. Kearn said Minne was on the West side of the lake.

Let's see, Lake of the Isles that way, Kenilworth Lagoon this way, Abaqury that way.  Wait, what?

Let's see, if Lake of the Isles that way, and Kenilworth Lagoon is this way, and Albuquerque that way... Wait, what?

So I eventually found my way over to the part of the lake where Minnie was supposed to be, but she wasn’t there.

Maybe she's diving for some fish?

Maybe she's diving for some fish? I'll just wait a little bit.

I waited and waited, but no Minnie.

I waited and waited and waited.

I stayed until it was starting to get dark, but still no Minne.

I stayed until it was starting to get dark, but still no Minne.

Then I remembered that Nessie had given me your address, so I decided to come visit you before it got too dark out, and see if you knew where Minne went?”

“I’m sorry Sinclair,” I said, “but I don’t know where Minne went.  Actually, I don’ think anyone knows where she went. We’ll need to investigate.  But first, let’s get you ready for bed.  You must be exhausted from your trip, we can work on figuring all this out in the morning.  Now go brush your teeth.”

“Do I have too?”

“Yes Sinclair.  We don’t want you to end up with cavities from all those snacks you had today.”

“Okay.”


Where did Minne go?  Will Sinclair ever find her?  Why did he travel so far to see her in the first place?  And what does all of this have to do with Iowa Football?

Find out next time, on another exciting episode of Lake Creatures Of Our Lives!

Like giant flippered boulders through the hourglass, so are the pleosaurs of our lives.

Oct
13
2009

A Minne Halloween

Quick back story: There has been a lake creature floating around the Chain of Lakes in Minneapolis this summer (seriously).  She appeared in early July and has been touring the lakes since.  In mid-July it was “adopted” by the Minneapolis Park Foundation, and has since been nicknamed Minne.  I think she’s the great great grand niece of Nessie.  She looks like this:

minne-1

Now, onto the actual post, and yes, this is the most coherent way I could think of to put all the thoughts together…


Dear Minne,

I was out running around the lakes and saw you out there again, over in the west part of Lake of the Isles now.  Sorry I haven’t written sooner, but you keep moving around and are a little hard to keep track of.  Besides, where does one address a letter to you?  “Lake Creature, About 50 feet off the west shore of Lake of the Isles, Minneapolis, MN 55405″?  So, I figured I’d try a blog post instead and see if you happen to read it.  Anyway, while I was running, I was thinking, with it getting cold out like it is, we really need to get you ready for the winter here.  After all, I figured I should do what I can to help out a fellow stray.

The winters here can get pretty rough, and the lakes freeze.  Don’t worry though, even though it’s cold, you’ve still got a couple months.  The lakes take a while to cool down that much, plus, I’ve got a plan, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

So, I’m not sure where you’re from originally, but we celebrate Halloween here.  We dress up in costumes, and go around asking for candy, and people actually give you candy on this day!  So, I thought we should get you a costume to help you fit in a little more.  While I was running tonight, I was trying to think of how we could dress you up.  The first thing I thought of was that we could put a jack-o-lantern on your back.  Like this:

minne-pumpkin

Minne with a pumpkin

It would be pretty festive, really simple and easy to do, and would really get you participating in the holiday.  Then I thought about it a little more, and it would probably roll off in the wind, and you’d have to hold pretty still.  Besides, who wants a rotting hunk of gourd on their back?  Not me.  So, I kept thinking.

My next thought was that you could dress up as a pirate.  It’s a pretty classic Halloween costume, and you’ve already got the nautical theme going:

minne-pirate

Yarrrrrgh Minne

But then I thought about that a little more too.  The hat would probably fly off pretty quickly, and I’m not sure how you’d hold onto the pirate flag.  Plus, we can’t really see your hook / peg flipper (do you have flippers or legs under there?).  So, I kept thinking.

Next I thought zombie.  But that would probably be way too scary for little kids around the lakes, and you already missed the zombie pub crawl this weekend.  So, I kept thinking.

My next idea was Superman – a classic first Halloween costume!

minne-superman

Super-Minne, away!!

I like it, but I’m not sure the cape will look all that good when the wind isn’t blowing just right, and I’m not sure how you feel about spandex, being a lake creature and all.

So, I kept running and kept thinking.  Anyway, it’s getting cold out, and some birds are starting to visit the lakes.  And then I thought of the perfect Halloween costume for you, something that would be a great costume, fit you perfectly, and really make you blend in to the Minneapolis lake scene.

Minne in a goose suit

Minne in a goose suit

A little down for the body, maybe some foam or cotton stuffing to make the tail stay up, a little face paint, and a beak with an elastic strap to keep it on.  Not only will you fit right in, it will keep you warm for the next couple of months too!  Plus, you totally have the neck for it!

Besides, this way you can make some friends with the geese out there as they pass through, and get some good tips on where to spend the winter months.  I’m sure they know all sorts of great places!  I think you might like the everglades.  Some of them might even let you travel with them.  I’m sure they’d love to have you leading the “V”!  Of course, maybe you were thinking this already, I saw on your Twitter account that you said “When it becomes cold, I turn into a snow bird”.  Maybe we strays think alike after all!

Anyway, let me know if you need some help with the costume, I’m not great at sewing, but I could give it a shot,

Kearn

Comments (8) | Tags: , , , , , , , | Written by on Oct 13,2009 |

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