Stray Hawkeye

This is a part of the dino saga, if it doesn’t make any sense, read these.

---

After a good night’s sleep, we got up early to go tailgating.  Okay, not that early, it was an 8:00 PM game, but the point here is we went tailgating, and Parker got things started off right.

Does anyone else ever wonder if the beer (Land Shark) was named after this really old Saturday Night Live skit, and for that matter, if they had this particular clip in mind when they got naming right for the stadium where the Dolphins play?

No? Just me? Okay, moving on with tailgating then…

A few hours of tailgating later, night falls, and we learn that Parker can apparently hold his beer substantially better than Sinclair.

Yes, Parker was also standing on the car.  Life lesson?  Never buy a used car that was a rental.  Ever.

So, it was getting closer to game time, and we decided to head into Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium, up the giant spiraling corkscrew ramp, which gives a pretty good view of the tailgating festivities.

Now you may be saying, “Kearn, those last two pictures don’t have Parker in them at all, and tailgating seemed to go by rather quickly.”  Did I mention we were tailgating, and I was drinking?  Good, now that we’ve cleared that up, I’d like to point out that arepas may be the best drunk food ever.  It’s like you took cornbread, but made it into a sort of pancake form, and then once that was cooked, you heated it up on a grill with cheese (um, a kind that’s white, I have no idea which kind) between two of these cornbread pancake things until it was all gooey and warm.  Delicious.  They serve them at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium.  Anyway, after that delicious break, we made it into the stadium, and back to Parker.  Luckily we left ourselves plenty of time to get to our seats.

“To be in the Hawkeye section, yes.  And to be on about the 45 yard line on the Hawkeye side, absolutely.”

Now, you may notice that between those two pictures, Georgia Tech went about 40 yards on offense.  This was basically the only time this happened during the game.  This was also basically the only time Parker was watching.  Now, I tend to not be too superstitious, but this was enough to make me convince Parker to stay in my pocket for the rest of the game, thus the lack of more game pictures with him.  Once it was safe again, he came came out to watch some more.

Previous post in the dino-saga here and here.  And yes, it took me forever to get around to downloading the pictures from my camera for this episode, so it’s a little behind the times, but it keeps you up to date with the saga.

---

Sinclair has been hanging out at my place for quite a while now, and after getting rested up after his long journey from Florida, we started our search to see if we could find Minne.  So far we’ve had no luck, but it appears from her twitter account that she’s planning to come back in the spring.  After much consoling and a few cookies, I got Sinclair to accept that he won’t be able to see her until then.  In the mean time I’ve been distracting him with Hawkeye sports.

Sinclair took me up on the suggestion that we go down to the Iowa vs Minnesota game this year and go tailgating.  Nessie sent me a letter and said that she was going to swim up to meet us there, but that Mississippi current was too strong for her, and unlike Sinclair, every time she asked a barge captain for a ride, he’d scream in fear and mutter something about needing to “cut back” and run away.  However, she told me that she had a certain feeling we’d meet another Iowa fan at the game if we told her where we’d be tailgating, so I sent her the address.

We drove down to Iowa for the game the night before so we could sleep a little there and go tailgating.  We got up early, but Sinclair was pretty restless.

So I told him to go for a little walk to burn off some energy, since he seems to be good at that.

“Come to think of it, Sinclair, are you old enough to drink?”

“Oh, I suppose that makes sense, kind of.  Ready for another?”

“Sure.  Are you guys hungry?  We’re a little too lazy to do actual grilling tailgate food, but we do have some cookies and chips.”

“Sinclair, that’s an awful lot of beer to drink that fast, especially for someone your size.”

And I think we all know where that leads.  About 20 minutes later it was almost time to go to the game…

“Here Sinclair, have some water.”

“Thanks, I think I might stay back and take a little nap.  Parker can use my ticket and go to the game with you guys.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, though it is a little chilly.  Do you have anything I could borrow to cover up with?  I’m cold blooded and all…”

“Sure, here, hop in the car.  I happen to have an old Iowa Marching Band raincoat that you can cover up with.  It even has the old fuzzy fleece liner in it.  I’ll even tuck you in.”

So, we started walking to the game.

Parker made some friends along the way too.

It took a little while to get in, but we got there just in time.

It was a little quiet for a while after that.

Parker got a little bored during half time…

He takes after the defense.

A little while later, they got ready to kick off the second half, and we’re all lucky Parker was there.

Parker quickly ran down and restrained the unruly fan.  After all, we’d hate to see the Minnesota team catch fire for the first time since Decker got hurt.

The second half was, shall we say, less than photogenic.  But at least one fan in front of us did get pretty excited.

Until we finally arrived at the greatest (if also most blurry) play in football, the victory formation.

A side note, dinosaurs are incredibly slow on steps.  So, it took a little while to get down there and we missed Floyd, but we did get to see…

So, after the meanie security guard, we decided to go meet the band.  They were much nicer, one even let Parker try his horn.

Then we went over to meet the cheer leaders, they were pretty nice too, and seemed to like Parker…

Over all it was a fun game and a great day.

Until next time Mr Kinnick, until next time.

I was thinking of writing a lengthy essay praising ugly college football, but I’ll try to keep it short.

(Side note, “ugly” here being defined as the type of football that results in the “ugly wins” for Iowa this year- defense heavy, forced turnovers, close games (even if they shouldn’t be), 3 yards and a cloud of dust.  Not the “ugly” as in Illinois this year, which just makes you feel bad for them.  I’m referring to the style of play rather than the basic ability level.)

And I don’t just love it because we’ve been winning that way this year (okay, I would probably like it rather than love it if that were not the case).  Even if we had lost against Michigan State, you have to admit, that was a great game. I love ugly football because it puts the focus on the defense.  I love it because it rips apart the hero worship, the quarterback is the only player who matters view that some people have of football, and puts the whole team in the spot light.  It’s a battle of wills, 3 yards and cloud of dust, instead of a two and a half hour game of keep away.  It forces you to remember that it’s a team sport and not just a race for the Heisman.  It forces you to remember those are kids out there and everyone of them is fallible.  That some of them were at their high school proms six months ago. It reminds you that the linemen matter.  A lot.  That a tipped ball can change the game.  That a linebacker getting an extra step is just as important of a part of the game as a receiver running the wrong route (which often turns into “the quarterback making a bad throw”, because he’s the only player on the field, right?).  Because unlike the NFL, where it’s the best of the best of the best, and the play books are interchangeable, in ugly college football, you see the players grow and develop their skills.  You see some of them rise up and some of them falter.  You watch freshmen step up to fill in for an injury. You see a different playbook and strategy every week on both sides of the ball.  Ugly football reminds you of one of the most important aspects of college football, and what makes it a sport worth watching – it’s hugely unpredictable, and every second matters.

And that in many senses, it’s also all so arbitrary.  A couple inches different on any of a huge number of plays, or a penalty called or missed, the ball being a little more slippery from the rain or a running back having a little better grip because he put on different gloves, and Iowa could easily be 4-4 instead of 8-0 so far this season.  Just as many plays the other way, and the 2008 team (9-4) could have had an undefeated season.  And how ridiculous that makes the eternal debate of who’s the best team in college football.  Never mind who’s the best if the championship is played in the rain.  Or in a dome.  Or if they went to play offs and it gave player an extra week to patch up injuries.

It’s ugly, it’s beautiful, it’s a battle of inches and a flip of the coin.  But that’s life.

Go Hawks.

First off, I know I have a hugely juvenile sense of humor, but this is hilarious.

Second, I’ve heard people from several schools claim that The Hawkeye Victory Polka (the official name of The Beer Song according to the university) originated at their school, and they’ve been playing it forever, and that Iowa must have gotten it from them.  The University of Wyoming, Michigan Tech, and even Wisconsin have claimed it as theirs.  It’s not.  Iowa started it.  I’m not saying that Iowa created the song, it’s traditional and has been around forever.  I’m saying, as best I can tell (and I’ve looked a fair amount), Iowa was the first to use it as a tradition at college sporting events.  Don’t believe me?  Watch this, and wait for about 3:10 in.  I would usually say skip ahead, but with this particular instance it’s worth watching.

1985.  If you can provide video evidence of an earlier use of it in college football, I’ll yield (actually, I’ll just dig until I find an older one of Iowa).

On the more serious side of Iowa Football history – this post on BHGP has a good appreciation of Forest Evashevski, former Iowa coach and the only Iowa coach (crosses finger) so far (uncrosses finger) to win a Rose Bowl, who is currently battling liver cancer.  Worth the quick read.  Here’s a bit more about one of his teams:

Further down in the same post is a link to this interesting article about what happens in the locker room during half time, which is basically summed up by Pat Angerer, “If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport.”  He’s quickly becoming my favorite source of Iowa Football quotes.  I also really like this one from ESPN:

“Our job is to put the fire out,” said linebacker Pat Angerer, who led Iowa with nine tackles, a sack and a pass breakup. “It’s as simple as that. We just said, ‘We’re back out here, we might as well stop them.’”

Might as well, didn’t really have any other plans for tonight anyway.  And what effect has this defensive style had on our opponents so far?  Something like this.

And speaking of our defense, let us now here from Norm Parker’s toes (that will make ever slightly more sense if you note that Norm is currently down to 7 remaining toes).  Also, I think there’s a good chance that if I do have kids, “Parker” might have to be in one of their names somewhere.

Over the weekend, the Hawks won (yay!) and are now 3-0 (three more to a bowl game).

USC lost (double yay!) (I really, really hate USC, not because they win a lot, but because they have the absolute worst college football fans that I’ve ever encountered.  And we play OSU almost every year.  USC’s fans are far, far worse.  And good teams can have good fans, in fact, Texas has some of the best fans (outside Iowa) that I’ve ever come across.  Thus, I revel in USC’s misery. And given the number of people I’ve met that share this sentiment, I’m pretty sure you could start a profitable niche business selling vials of the tears of USC fans.  Just saying.)

But what really brought back memories was Michigan State losing to Notre Dame.  Not just losing, but blowing a lead late, and then throwing away (literally, with an interception) the chance to win, or at very least tie, the game.  In short, having the chance to shine, and blowing it.  It reminded me of 2006, and more specifically, of this (specifically the mp3 at the bottom of the post).  As the original post authors so well describe the Michigan State vs Notre Dame game from that year:

And then, there are soul-crushing, ball-busting agonizingly excruciating losses that plunge you through the looking glass into a deep, dark spot in your sportsfan soul that is frightening to even think about. Trust me, I’ve been there before. This week, Sparty was on the receiving end of one of these, and the results… were not so pretty.

You don’t need to remember the game to appreciate it, the audio pretty well describes what happened.  It was far, far worse than this year’s loss. The clip is really funny, and bizarre, and a little painful for loyal sports fans.  It’s also incredibly quotable.

Now, to make clear, I don’t hate Michigan State.  In fact, I don’t even really particularly dislike them.  And I don’t like seeing a Big Ten team lose a non-conference game, nor do I often make the practice of reminding others about when such a thing happens.  After all, when the Big Ten loses, it makes Iowa look bad, and that’s who really matters in the end.  But…. the clip is just so good, and terrible, and great, that it has to be shared.

Oh yeah, probably as NSFW as broadcast radio gets.  Probably best listened to with fellow college football fans, while fairly drunk.

MAKE PLAYS!!!!

Previous post on the topic here.

So, according to Black Heart, Gold Pants (a great blog for Hawkeye football news and entertainment), it cost $370,000 to paint the water tower outside of Kinnick Stadium.

And they only paint it every 10-15 years.

And they did it 3 years ago.

And the UIHC is every bit as much the huge bureaucratic giant three-toed sloth one would expect from an organization that’s state owned, involved with medicine, and associated with a University.

In other words, if you start introducing the idea to paint the water tower with a Hawkeye theme to the various UIHC committee meetings, long term vision proposals, scoping exploratory commissions, etc now, you might have a chance to get it painted black, or gold, but not both, the next time they paint it in 2016-2021.

I don’t see why we couldn’t paint a black Tiger Hawk over the existing white for something more like $30-40k.  It would take relatively little paint (compared to painting the whole thing), none of the intricate detail parts on the uprights, and since I would assume part of the expense is using special paint that will protect the metal underneath, that’s already taken care of by the existing coat, so you could use normal house paint (maybe).  And then you could still do my awesome Hawk Signal idea (see the end of the previous post for the reference).

For those not familiar, there is a huge water tower outside of Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City.  It is blindly, glaringly lacking any sort of Tiger Hawk, and for that mater, any black OR gold paint at all.  It’s one of those things that after a morning of tailgating, and seeing roughly 150,000 Tiger Hawk logos around you (I’m not exaggerating, that would be just over 2 per fan, which is actually probably quite low, and that’s just in the stadium), you look up at this enormous looming structure over the stadium and go, “What the hell?”

Let me illustrate with a couple of pictures I found on the web (I’d go take one myself, but that whole 5 hour drive each way thing…):

Now why, you may ask, would you leave something so imposing and prominently visible unadorned?  Well, from what I can find, it’s because the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics (UIHC) owns the water tower and hates Iowa Football.  Iowa in general really.  As well as fun.   They hate fun, Iowa Football, Tiger Hawks, Kinnick Stadium, Iowa fans, school spirit / pride, and the state of Iowa at large.  In short, they hate all things good and holy in this world.

However, the forces of good are gathering.  There is currently a petition to get the water tower painted.  And a Facebook group.  Also, Gary Barta, the Iowa athletics director, is on board.  Let’s get that sucker painted.

To help facilitate this, I’m not only blogging to raise awareness, and promoting the Facebook group and the petition, I’d like to offer some poorly photoshoped design ideas, as what to put on it still seems pretty nebulous.

I’ll present them in order of least offensive to the Fun Haters at the UIHC, to most awesome.

Candiate One:

So, it’s still lame.  It’s still isn’t really football or Hawkeye, but it does at least get UI up there in some form.  It would let the UIHC feel like they have continued to thumb their collective noses at football fans, but it’s something.  And perhaps it will at least remind the opposing team’s players that they may be on the way to the hospital.

Candiate Two:

Incrementally better.  At least now we’re talking about the school.  It’s still white so you can’t really claim any safety concerns for helicopters crashing into it (though really you could paint it any color and put some lights on it and still get over that, there are plenty of other darkly colored structures in Iowa City they’ve managed to avoid so far.).  It’s a middle ground.  We’ve got something that could be associated with the hospital, or the school, or the team.  It shows a little pride and is dignified.  It strikes me as feasible if a little boring.

Candidate Three:

We’ve got some school colors up there.  It’s simple, it’s clean, it sticks to school spirit while still potentially being acceptable to the overlords at the UIHC.  With some decent photoshopping skills, it might not look to bad at all.  But, we all know what really belongs up there…

Candidate Four:

You can’t argue, it’s perfect.  It’s the logo of the school and says nothing of the UIHC, but they can paint the other side with whatever they like (though if it’s a Cyclone just to spite football fans they may be lynched, just saying).  It’s a hawk flying in the sky.  It’s what belongs there.  End of story.  I admit that it may be a little hard to get it to look right with the curve of the water tower and the perspective of the field, but think of all the graduating Art Majors with no jobs – let’s put them to work.

As a bonus, just think of what it would look like if properly illuminated at night (you know, for the helicopter’s safety and all):

You should go sign the petition, and join the Facebook group.

Read the article, scroll down for the first comment.

Iowa Hawkeye Football 2008 – The Year in Photos from HFM Ride on Vimeo.

Via Black Heart, Gold Pants

In other news, it’s a sad, sad day in Iowa football… they’re putting astroturf in Kinnick.  You can’t have 3 yards and a cloud of dust if there is no dust.  Next thing you know, we’ll be running a damn spread offense.

I wonder if they’ll sell the turf like they did the bricks when they redid the South end zone and press box.  How cool would it be to have a little square of Kinnick grass growing in a pot.  That would be the best house plant ever.  I’m serious.  Do you think they’ll sell the turf?

So it’s official.  The Game Which Must Not Be Named* will be played between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals.  I’m quite happy about this.  What’s that you say?

“But Kearn, you don’t care about pro football, only college football.  And aside from Mike Humpal (Steelers) and Kenny Iwebema (Cardinals), there’s not even a strong tie to Iowa football here.”

And that’s where you’re wrong.

In case you haven’t noticed, the Steelers’ uniforms bear a striking resemblance to those worn by Iowa.  Though both teams have always worn black and gold, when Hayden Fry started at Iowa, he had the Iowa uniforms redone to more closely mimic those of the Steelers.  At the time, the Steelers were winning The Game Which Must Not Be Named left and right, and the Hawkeyes were, well, not.  Hayden thought it would help psychologically to look like a great team, and it did.  This is also when the Pink Locker Room came into existence.  Hayden was big on psychology.

Fast forward to the present day, Iowa has been in January bowl games 5 of the last 7 seasons, most recently winning the Outback Bowl (against a red bird themed team no less).  And the Steelers are in The Game Which Must Not Be Named against the Cardinals.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Iowa is just returning the favor to the Steelers after all these years.

Better yet is the opponent, the Cardinals.  Who wear red and white.  And have a cardinal for a mascot.  Can we think of any teams Iowa plays that look like this?  Perhaps an intrastate rival?  Perhaps a team that has a Cardinal for a mascot?

That’s right, it’s Iowa vs Iowa State in The Game Which Must Not Be Named.

What more can a Hawkeye fan ask for?  Except perhaps Iowa beating USC mercilessly in the National Championship game, at the Rose Bowl, ending with all USC fans collectively hanging themselves upon realizing what total assholes they are.  Have I mentioned I don’t much care for USC or their fans?  In case I haven’t, I don’t much care for USC or their fans.

*Because the NFL is super-douchebagy when it comes to references made to the superlative soup container.