Stray Hawkeye

Did you know that NASA makes movie style poster for its missions?  They do, and they’re awesome.  I think the one for Expedition 13 (really big pdf of it) is my favorite:

And before anyone starts bitching about “my tax dollars at work”, remember:

1. If you know what you’re doing it doesn’t take that long to do this sort of thing, especially when they already make the informative versions for press / schools.
2. Seeing a government agency embracing a bit of remix / pop culture is sort of a refreshing surprise.  Especially with the continuous corporate push towards more DRM and more strict intellectual property laws that would limit this sort of format.
3. These people when to god-damn space and are in basically the most hazardous profession that exists.  They deserve to be doted on a little bit, especially now when shuttle launches and space walks barely even get a 5 second mention on the evening news unless they’re the last one of something, or something goes terribly wrong (see most hazardous profession that exists comment).  I mean really, without looking at the poster above, name me one astronaut in the last 5 years.  Now name me one reality show star.  That’s what I thought.  Our real heroes need some more press.
4. They’re awesome.

Via Kottke.

For the last several months, one of my sisters has been on a serious fitness kick.  Not like a, “I’m going to run a 5K by the end of summer,” or, “I’m only going to eat fast food twice a week,” kind of fitness kick.  We’re talking regular sessions with a personal trainer, weight lifting, track the exact composition of everything you eat, bulk up, and maybe learn some martial arts style fitness kick.  Maybe “fitness kick” isn’t even really the right term for it.  “Get in awesome shape quest”?  “Fitness rampage”?  Something like that.

At any rate, along with all the weight lifting and muscle building, she’s gotten pretty big on protein shakes and whey powder and the like.  We went on a brief vacation, and one of the first things we did after getting there was stop by a vitamin store to get some whey powder.  This, of course, lead to me making fun of her for the rest of the trip (this is how my family shows affection, we mock each other pretty much all the time).  In particular, it made me think of the South Park episode where Cartman decides he’s going to get totally buff:

So he gets a bunch of “Weight Gain 4000″, and gets, well, he ends up like this (starts about 20 seconds in):

The full episode is here.

So, of course, every time my sister made a protein shake, or asked if it was time for dinner yet, I would reply, “Beefcake. BEEFCAKE!”.  This was also accompanied by the Tim Tebow drinking game – while watch college football at any point in the last season, drink any time the announcers mention Tim Tebow.  Two if he’s not on the field at the time.  Three if neither of the teams playing in the game you’re watching is Florida.  You get trashed, fast.

Anyway, after the trip, my sister’s job was getting her down, so I thought I’d send her a care package.  What did I think of?  Well, I thought I’d get a variety of protein bars so she could try out some different kinds, maybe a few she hadn’t had before:

And of course, we can’t show affection without some mocking thrown in, so, while I was at it, I cut a couple of sheets of paper in half and made a few custom labels:

After all, the labels make it easier to put stamps on them…

So I put her address on the back of the labels like the usual ingredients / nutritional facts label, and went to the post office to get the correct postage for each.  The post lady working weighed each one, and then put elaborate combinations of 5 or 6 stamps on each to get the correct amount, to the penny, for each of the four, including mixing up two the weights and going back and doing them over, until basically the entire back of each of them was covered in stamps.  The people behind me in line totally loved me by time I left.  I then mailed them off, one at a time, over the course of a little over a week.

Pretty sure I should turn this into a side business.

Beefcake.  BEEFCAKE!!!!

If you haven’t read them before, the previous episodes of the dino saga will help make this make slightly more sense.  Not lots of sense, just more than it would otherwise.

In this episode / series, Parker goes to the Orange Bowl in Miami to see the Hawkeyes play.  My going along is part of why there was that couple week long lull of no posting – planning the trip, going down, being there a few days, coming back, getting my feet back on the ground, not to mention Christmas, New Years, some things shifting at work, and just generally having needed a bit of a break.  At any rate, I’m back now.

Also, I’m breaking this episode into 3 parts (this is the first, as the title would indicate) because:

1. There are lots of pictures.
2. There are basically 3 distinct stories.
3. These posts take for freaking ever to make, so I want to stretch it out a little bit and make the effort for each a little more manageable.

The third segment is a little short for reasons I’ll explain in that post, so that one’s more like half a post compared to the other two.  As a bonus though, there will also be one non-Parker, non-dino post of Miami stuff after the third as well.  So, really, it like 2 and 2 half post about Miami.  So, anyway, let’s get started, shall we…

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As it turns out, Nessie has an in with the BCS people and helped them decide that Iowa should go to the Orange Bowl in Miami so she could see Parker, instead of sending Iowa to the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently Nessie doesn’t do well in the desert, being a lake creature and all, and it turns out that Plesiosaurs have a surprisingly large say in the BCS selection process.  Who knew?

So, when we heard that Iowa was headed to Miami, Parker decided that we needed to go.  Sinclair stayed behind to hibernate.  Because dinosaurs hibernate, I guess.  That or he’s just lazy and still moping about not being able to find Minne.  Who knows?  He has his moments of being a rather surly fellow, but I think mostly it’s just the cold and dark weather getting to him, cold blooded and all.

So, Parker and I got our tickets and flew down to Miami a couple of days before the game.  The TSA is surprisingly permissive with dinosaurs.  Apparently they’re a well connected bunch.  Anyway, as soon as we got to the Miami airport, we decided we should go find the hotel, settle in a little bit, and then go see what South Beach has to offer.  Without thinking, I had let Parker do some of the planning, like the car…

Also, it turns out Parker packs like a Druish Princess.

And he fit in pretty well in the hotel lobby while they were taking the bags up, too.

Once we got up to our room, Parker decided to check out the view.

As you can see, I pack slightly lighter than Parker, but I still had room for swim trunks and sandals, so, we headed to the beach, at top dinosaur speed, to see if we could find Nessie.

The lifeguard flashed a mirror a few times in Morse code to signal to Nessie for us.

After we sat on the beach chairs for a while and tried to talk with Nessie as best we could from that distance, Parker got a little restless and wanted to play.

Two hours later…

“Hmmm, Parker, would you like to play on a little bigger sand castle?  I think I see one over there you might like, and it doesn’t look like anyone else is playing on it right now.”

“Sure, where?”

“Right over there…”

“Wow!!!” … running….

“Oh, you know what else we should do? …”

Parker was a little miffed at me after that, so I put the camera away for a while.

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As a side note, how often do you see a post with references to Space Balls, Moby Dick, Baywatch, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Monty Python, and an obscure Sesame Street record all in the same place?

People tend to be pretty fond of ripping on pictures of models that have been overly Photoshoped to make them look “beautiful” (big air quotes there, ie – like anorexic, heroine addicted 13 year old boys with boob jobs, who may also be of an alien species), and rightfully so.  However, focusing just on photoshop also overlooks all the tricks that have been going on since long before digital retouching really hit its stride.  Namely, it overlooks the huge effects of make up and lighting.  This series of the same model with a variety of different make up and lighting is stunning. (via Kottke)

You don’t need Benjamin Button priced CGI to create effective false perceptions.

Previous post in the dino-saga here and here.  And yes, it took me forever to get around to downloading the pictures from my camera for this episode, so it’s a little behind the times, but it keeps you up to date with the saga.

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Sinclair has been hanging out at my place for quite a while now, and after getting rested up after his long journey from Florida, we started our search to see if we could find Minne.  So far we’ve had no luck, but it appears from her twitter account that she’s planning to come back in the spring.  After much consoling and a few cookies, I got Sinclair to accept that he won’t be able to see her until then.  In the mean time I’ve been distracting him with Hawkeye sports.

Sinclair took me up on the suggestion that we go down to the Iowa vs Minnesota game this year and go tailgating.  Nessie sent me a letter and said that she was going to swim up to meet us there, but that Mississippi current was too strong for her, and unlike Sinclair, every time she asked a barge captain for a ride, he’d scream in fear and mutter something about needing to “cut back” and run away.  However, she told me that she had a certain feeling we’d meet another Iowa fan at the game if we told her where we’d be tailgating, so I sent her the address.

We drove down to Iowa for the game the night before so we could sleep a little there and go tailgating.  We got up early, but Sinclair was pretty restless.

So I told him to go for a little walk to burn off some energy, since he seems to be good at that.

“Come to think of it, Sinclair, are you old enough to drink?”

“Oh, I suppose that makes sense, kind of.  Ready for another?”

“Sure.  Are you guys hungry?  We’re a little too lazy to do actual grilling tailgate food, but we do have some cookies and chips.”

“Sinclair, that’s an awful lot of beer to drink that fast, especially for someone your size.”

And I think we all know where that leads.  About 20 minutes later it was almost time to go to the game…

“Here Sinclair, have some water.”

“Thanks, I think I might stay back and take a little nap.  Parker can use my ticket and go to the game with you guys.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, though it is a little chilly.  Do you have anything I could borrow to cover up with?  I’m cold blooded and all…”

“Sure, here, hop in the car.  I happen to have an old Iowa Marching Band raincoat that you can cover up with.  It even has the old fuzzy fleece liner in it.  I’ll even tuck you in.”

So, we started walking to the game.

Parker made some friends along the way too.

It took a little while to get in, but we got there just in time.

It was a little quiet for a while after that.

Parker got a little bored during half time…

He takes after the defense.

A little while later, they got ready to kick off the second half, and we’re all lucky Parker was there.

Parker quickly ran down and restrained the unruly fan.  After all, we’d hate to see the Minnesota team catch fire for the first time since Decker got hurt.

The second half was, shall we say, less than photogenic.  But at least one fan in front of us did get pretty excited.

Until we finally arrived at the greatest (if also most blurry) play in football, the victory formation.

A side note, dinosaurs are incredibly slow on steps.  So, it took a little while to get down there and we missed Floyd, but we did get to see…

So, after the meanie security guard, we decided to go meet the band.  They were much nicer, one even let Parker try his horn.

Then we went over to meet the cheer leaders, they were pretty nice too, and seemed to like Parker…

Over all it was a fun game and a great day.

Until next time Mr Kinnick, until next time.

“We’re All Gonna Die” by Simon Hoegsberg (I have no idea how to make the oh in his last name an empty set symbol) is a stitched together panorama of pictures he took of people walking across a bridge.  It’s sort of cool because:

• It’s the only time I can think of where I’ve seen a really wide horizontal scrolling web page that actually seemed like a good design choice.
• The huge variety of people and dress.
• The varying degrees of recognition on the part of the subjects of the fact they were being photographed.

Admittedly, I tottally don’t get the title though.

After my post suggesting Halloween costumes for our local lake creature, and Nessie’s comment on it, Nessie sent me another note:

Hi Kearn,

I forgot to mention, I have a little buddy down here too.  His name’s Sinclair.  When he saw your post about Minne and her website, he couldn’t wait to get up there.  He’s pretty young, and has lots of energy, and kind of wears me out, so I thought it would be good for him to burn off a little energy with an outing, so I let him go ahead.  I gave him some directions to Minneapolis, but my directions might not be the best since I haven’t been there before.  I also gave him your address so he could get a hold of you when he gets there.  Hope you don’t mind.  He’s quite friendly.

Oh, and be sure to have a little extra food on hand.  I packed him a lunch before he left, but I’m sure he’ll work up quite the appetite on the trip.

I’m moving a little slower these days, so I think I’ll just plan to meet up with you at the Iowa Minnesota game if these fins can hold up to that strong Mississippi current.  See you then,

Nessie

Sure enough, tonight I heard a little tapping at my door, and when I opened it, there stood a little tiny, shivering green dinosaur.  I could tell from his tattoos that this must be Sinclair, so I brought him in and got him some hot cocoa, a blanket, and some lawn clippings.  He thanked me, and I asked him how his trip was.

“It was good, and there were all sorts of wonderful things and nice people along the way.”

“How did you manage to get up here so quickly?  It’s a long ways from Florida, I didn’t think I’d see you for at least a few more days yet.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t walk the whole way, I made friends with a sea captain, and he gave me a ride over to New Orleans, and then a barge friend of his gave me a ride up the Mississippi.  It was a really fun ride, he even let me ride up front!”

“Then, once we got up to Minneapolis, I saw a waterfall in the river, and I got scared, so I jumped off the barge and swam over to the shore.”

“As soon as I got out of the river, I saw a little path going up the hill, so I thought I would go up and see if anyone could help me find my way.”

“As luck would have it, as soon as I got to the top of the hill, there was a big guy sitting right there, so I asked him if he knew how to get to Lake of the Isles, but he didn’t say a word.”

So, I asked one of his friends there.

“Thanks Mr Guthrie!”, I shouted, and headed toward the big bubble.

It seemed sort of quiet, but it must be a wonderful place to have all the huge inside space when it’s so cold out, they must use it for everything thing here.  It must be busy all the time!  I guess I must have caught it on the one quiet day of the year.  So, I kept going, and turned right, like Mr Guthrie told me to.

Then I saw all these giant square rocks sticking up into the sky.

Then I saw a building that I read about on Stray Hawkeye, the headquarters of the Star Tribune.

I had to get my picture with their sign.

But then I wasn’t sure where I was going again, so I decide to ask someone.

“Sorry, I’m terrible with directions,” he said, “Lucy might know though.”

“Thanks Lucy!  And my that’s a pretty colored dress you have on.”

“Thank you Sinclair, and good luck on your trip!”

So, the directions said I’m supposed to follow the train tracks to Nicollet Mall, and then turn left.

I decided to stop for a snack, I was getting awfully hungry from all that walking.

That should hold me over for a little bit.  After a couple blocks, I check for directions again, just to be sure.

So, I started walking down Nicollet Mall. It’s a busy place!

I was getting really cold, especially with no hat, so I decided to go inside for a little bit, and try out the skyways.

Let’s see, just up the escalator here.  Hmm, I might stop for a little snack while I warm up.

I decided I should go back outside, so I could get my bearings again, and right there were some of Minne’s goose people friends!

I decided to go make some friends.

I was just thinking, I could use another snack, and then…

I didn’t see any trays, so I just helped myself.  I got a full tummy.  And you know what I saw next when I started walking again? A playground!!!!

That was awesome.  But, I should probably keep walking.  Bye bye playground!

Okay, over the bridge, through the garden, and then through Kenwood.

So, I rinsed off my feet, and then walked through Kenwood.  Not much interesting there, just lots of big houses.  The people back there must have huge families to need that much space.  Even a lake monster would have a hard time filling some of those houses!  So, I just kept walking.

So I eventually found my way over to the part of the lake where Minnie was supposed to be, but she wasn’t there.

Then I remembered that Nessie had given me your address, so I decided to come visit you before it got too dark out, and see if you knew where Minne went?”

“I’m sorry Sinclair,” I said, “but I don’t know where Minne went.  Actually, I don’ think anyone knows where she went. We’ll need to investigate.  But first, let’s get you ready for bed.  You must be exhausted from your trip, we can work on figuring all this out in the morning.  Now go brush your teeth.”

“Do I have too?”

“Yes Sinclair.  We don’t want you to end up with cavities from all those snacks you had today.”

“Okay.”

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Where did Minne go?  Will Sinclair ever find her?  Why did he travel so far to see her in the first place?  And what does all of this have to do with Iowa Football?

Find out next time, on another exciting episode of Lake Creatures Of Our Lives!

Like giant flippered boulders through the hourglass, so are the pleosaurs of our lives.

I have no idea where I found this originally, and I haven’t been able to find where it originated to give credit, but I like it and thought I’d share.  Pretty impressive for a black and white animated gif.  Note – you may have to refresh the page or click on it to get it to start from the beginning.

Anyone know where it came from?

• Boating
• A reflective Lake Todd ripples on entry
• Playing with butterflies
• F18 Cockpit
• Clouds

• Free Bird (I mostly like this one for the title)
• Cow
• Super nom nom nom

An intriguing set on Flickr featuring anatomical drawings of the feature characters of Japanese monster movies.

Previous Godzilla related posts here.

Youngme / Nowme is an art project where people post pictures of themselves now, recreating pictures taken of them when they were young.  They’re a bit hit or miss, and there’s a fair number of missing / broken pictures, but a few of them are absolutely great.

A few favorites (I know, lame link text, but I don’t want to give them away): here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Kind of makes me want to dig up some baby pictures.  Whole collection here.

Via Swiss Miss

Iowa Hawkeye Football 2008 – The Year in Photos from HFM Ride on Vimeo.

Via Black Heart, Gold Pants

In other news, it’s a sad, sad day in Iowa football… they’re putting astroturf in Kinnick.  You can’t have 3 yards and a cloud of dust if there is no dust.  Next thing you know, we’ll be running a damn spread offense.

I wonder if they’ll sell the turf like they did the bricks when they redid the South end zone and press box.  How cool would it be to have a little square of Kinnick grass growing in a pot.  That would be the best house plant ever.  I’m serious.  Do you think they’ll sell the turf?

So, continuing my emerging theme here on the intersection of cars, form, visual illusion, etc, while at the same time proving I’m not just a BMW fan boy, I present you with a wire frame Corolla:

What’s that I hear you say?

“But Kearn, I’ve seen a million of these computer generated wire frame models of cars.”

Oh, I’m sure you have, but this one’s not computer generated, it’s a real sculpture:

Kinda trippy, huh?  Took me a few looks to believe it was really and not computer generated too.  There’s more about it, and a few more pictures on AutoBlog.  Also a couple more on the artist’s website.  The artist that made it, Benedict Radcliffe, has a whole lot of cool stuff on his website. Definitely worth a look around. He’s also made a peddle Lamborghini that’s actually driveable.